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Now What? First Steps After Choosing Adoption for Your Baby

Thu, 11 Apr 2019 19:47:22 GMT

After you discovered you were pregnant, you might have felt shocked or even panicked. If you decide to choose adoption for your baby, you might still feel like you are treading in deep water. What do you do first? Where do you start?

If you are hoping to pursue adoption for your baby but feel overwhelmed at getting started, here are some first steps that can help you feel more in control of your choice.

Reach Out for Support

You don’t have to face the adoption process alone. Many women find hope and help through friendships or family. If you have a parent who supports your choice, they can help you feel more confident as you make plans for your future. If you don’t have a parent you trust, you might ask a close friend or extended family member, such as an aunt, cousin, or grandparent, to support you.

When choosing someone who can support you, try to focus on what help they can give you. You want someone who is level-headed and who can help you stick to your goals when you might feel overwhelmed. You also want someone who can give you emotional support. Choose someone who cares for you but who will not manipulate you or monopolize your choices.

This person can help you in many ways. For example, when you meet with an adoption agency, they can come with you with the questions you have written down. If you feel emotional, your friend or loved one can help direct the conversation.

Contact an Adoption Agency

One of the first things you should do is reach out to an adoption agency. The right agency will provide for your emotional needs. You should never feel forced, rushed, or pressured into choosing adoption for your baby.

When you meet with an agency representative, bring all the questions you have to the consultation. You might want to know how birth parents are screened, how long the process takes after you give birth, if you can change your mind, and how you will pay for your medical bills.

Choosing to meet with an agency does not mean that you have to continue to use that agency. Meet with as many people as you like until you find a place which fits your needs and where you feel comfortable. You can also use a family lawyer instead of an agency if you already have birth parents you want for your baby.

Going to an adoption agency early in the process will make everything easier for you. They provide the services, including legal services, that help connect you to good adoptive families, but they also can provide mental health support for birth mothers and guidance during the pregnancy.

Make a Doctor’s Appointment

Your health is important. When you find out that you are pregnant, call a local doctor’s office to get your first OBGYN appointment. And OBGYN focuses on the health of both mother and baby. Your first appointment should happen when you are about 6 to 8 weeks pregnant. Your OBGYN can confirm the pregnancy with an ultrasound.

Your first appointment will also involve some blood tests and questions about your medical history. The doctor will test your blood for sexually transmitted diseases that could affect your baby, and they will also test for things like iron levels to make sure that you don’t need extra supplementation. You might also get a breast exam and Pap smear at your first appointment.

Your doctor will recommend that you take a prenatal vitamin to make sure that you and your baby get all the nutrients you need. If you have been using alcohol or smoking, your doctor will recommend that you stop immediately and can provide advice on how to keep you and your baby healthy during your pregnancy.

Don’t postpone getting prenatal care because you are concerned about cost. Adoptive parents sometimes cover the cost of pregnancy expenses. You can talk to your adoption agency about how that compensation will occur.

Seek Counseling

Your adoption agency might suggest that you get counseling as part of the process of adoption. This counseling can be provided by the agency, but you might feel just as comfortable seeking a different counselor.

Counseling can provide you with the emotional preparation that you will need during the adoption process, but it can also help you focus on your own future. You can set goals for your life, and your counselor can help you plan how to achieve them. You might find it hard to stay positive, and counseling can help you through bouts of depression that can occur during pregnancy.

Fill Out Your Forms

Finally, once you have met with doctors and adoption agents, you will have some paperwork to fill out. These forms will detail your desires for your child and help the agency find a good match your baby. You can explain the type of adoption you want, how much contact you hope to have with your child, and the future you want your baby to have.

After you fill out these forms, you can start the process of choosing your baby’s parents. The choice is entirely yours so that you can know what future you are giving your baby.

For more information, contact us at A Child’s Dream.

Nausea and Pregnancy: What You Need to Know

Thu, 21 Mar 2019 19:43:45 GMT

Nausea is common in pregnancy, especially in the early stages. Known as morning sickness , nausea and vomiting occur naturally as your body changes. Understanding why nausea happens, what it means if nausea is severe, and how to alleviate nausea can help you stay healthy during pregnancy. Here’s what you need to know to ensure a healthy pregnancy and delivery.

What Causes Nausea During Pregnancy?

It is believed that nausea is caused by hormone changes that occur during pregnancy. Specifically, the production of the hormone human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG) is believed to be the primary cause of nausea. This hormone is what helps the baby get what it needs during the early stages of pregnancy.

Later in the pregnancy, as the baby gets more nourishment from the placenta, the production of this hormone declines somewhat. This causes the nausea to subside.

When Does Nausea Occur?

Nausea starts around week 6 of the pregnancy and continues up through about week 18. Some women continue to experience morning sickness after this point, and in some cases, women experience morning sickness throughout the pregnancy.

Although it is called morning sickness , this condition doesn’t just happen in the mornings. In fact, it is a small percentage of women who have morning sickness only in the mornings. Women can get morning sickness at any time of the day or night.

It is believed that morning sickness frequently occurs in the morning because the pregnancy hormones relax the stomach and intestines. This prompts the digestive system to create more acid at night, leading to vomiting after waking up.

What If Your Nausea Is Severe?

Severe morning sickness could be the result of a condition known as Hyperemesis Gravidarum. This condition is similar to normal morning sickness but may start earlier and end later. It is also much more severe. People who suffer from this condition may vomit throughout the day, so they’re unable to take in enough food or water.

This condition can be dangerous to the mother and baby, who need proper nutrition and hydration throughout pregnancy in order to thrive. Other symptoms include:

Weight loss
Infrequent urination
Dark brown or bloody vomit
Dizziness
Confusion
Fainting

If you’re vomiting three times per day or more, you could be suffering from Hyperemesis Gravidarum. See your doctor right away to get treatment. Waiting could lead to severe dehydration and other dangerous health problems.

What Can You Do to Control Your Nausea?

There are many home remedies for controlling nausea. Women experiencing nausea should try different remedies to see what works for them.

Drink Ginger Tea or Lemon Water

Slice up small pieces of ginger, then steep them in hot water to make a tea. Strain the slices and sip at your leisure.

Some people also recommend drinking lemon water. Drink lemon water iced or hot, depending on your preferences.

Eat Small Snacks

Eat small snacks throughout the day, starting with the moments before you get up for the morning. Keep a small snack, like nuts, by your bedside. Snack a small amount if you wake up in the night to go to the bathroom as well.

Adjust Your Supplements

There are many supplements that are believed to help with morning sickness. Talk to your doctor to find out which supplements they recommend for your pregnancy. You should never take supplements during pregnancy without speaking with your doctor first.

Prenatal vitamins have a lot of iron in them, which can aggravate morning sickness. Don’t stop taking your prenatal vitamins because you’re feeling ill. Try splitting the dose between morning and evening, and shop around for different vitamins to see if one works better than others.

Your doctor may recommend trying supplements that are low on iron, or that are iron-free, but you should talk to your doctor about this before doing it yourself. Taking the vitamins when you’re feeling the least ill, and taking them with yogurt, can help.

Stimulate the Pressure Points

Wrist bands that apply pressure for car sickness can also be used to alleviate morning sickness nausea. These bands are sold in pharmacies. Talk to your doctor before using these bands on yourself.

Know When to Lie Down

Sometimes your body just needs a little time to relax and rest. Know when you’re feeling fatigued, and lie down if you’re feeling very bad.

Work With Your Physician

Keep your doctor informed about your symptoms throughout pregnancy. Your doctor will be able to make recommendations if you’re experiencing severe or persistent nausea and can tell you what’s normal and what’s not.

It Will Get Better!

When the pregnancy is over, nausea goes away with the pregnancy hormones. Taking care of yourself throughout the pregnancy can help ensure that you’ll give birth to a healthy child.

For more information about adoption and the adoption process, contact A Child’s Dream . We can give you information throughout your pregnancy and can help facilitate a successful adoption.

What Birth Mothers Should Know About Prenatal Depression

Wed, 06 Feb 2019 19:37:43 GMT

Postpartum depression is a serious problem, but at least it’s one that most expectant mother know to watch out for. A related condition that’s received less attention is prenatal or antepartum depression – depression that occurs sometime during the pregnancy, rather than after.

Birth mothers who plan to give their baby up for adoption may be at particular risk for developing prenatal depression. Here’s what you need to know.

What Is Prenatal Depression?

Prenatal or antepartum depression affects between 14 and 23 percent of pregnant women. The symptoms are similar to those experienced by mothers with post-partum depression – anxiety, sadness, worry, feelings of hopelessness, and sleep disturbances.

However, some evidence suggests that symptoms are more severe for women who develop them during the pregnancy, rather than later. Expectant mothers may feel more intense sadness, more difficult sleep disturbances, and occasional paranoia.

What’s more, depression during pregnancy is linked with pregnancy complications, which could result in health problems for both mother and baby. Some of the problems associated with depression during pregnancy include preeclampsia, which is dangerously high blood pressure during pregnancy, as well as low birth weight and premature labor and delivery.

Who Is At Risk for Prenatal Depression?

Prenatal depression is most likely caused, at least in part, by hormonal changes associated with pregnancy, much like postpartum depression. Any expectant mother could develop prenatal depression. However, birth mothers who are planning an adoption could be at increased risk.

Prenatal depression is linked to a variety of possible risk factors, including smoking or a previous history of depressive episodes. But some risk factors, like an unintended pregnancy, single status, lower income, and life stress, are also factors that are commonly experienced by expectant mothers who plan on having their baby adopted.

Even when you’re sure that your decision to choose adoption is the right choice for you, being a birth mother comes with its own unique challenges that may increase your risk of developing depression during your pregnancy. Be aware of the possibility of developing depression so that you can ask your doctor about appropriate treatment.

How Is Prenatal Depression Diagnosed?

Only a doctor can diagnose you with prenatal depression, so keep your doctor updated on how you’re feeling – not just physically, but mentally and emotionally as well. Expectant mothers commonly fail to report symptoms of prenatal depression, especially as they often don’t know that prenatal depression is a possibility.

You may find it difficult to tell what is and isn’t normal during pregnancies. Sleep disturbances during pregnancy, for example, are common among pregnant women who have depression, but they’re also common for pregnant women who don’t have depression. That’s why it’s recommended that doctors screen their patients for depression, but it’s also important for patients to speak up.

Your best bet is to err on the side of caution. If something seems important enough that you consider mentioning to your doctor, then it probably is important. If you experience sadness, anxiety, or worry to such an extent that it disrupts your normal routine or activities, then you should definitely say something.

Most importantly, if feel that you’re suffering, you should speak up. Don’t be embarrassed or hesitant – you deserve to get through your pregnancy without unnecessary suffering.

How Is Prenatal Depression Treated?

Prenatal depression can be treated in a variety of ways. Counseling or therapy can be very effective at helping expectant mothers manage prenatal depression. If you work with an adoption agency, you should have an adoption counselor who may be able to help you cope with depression or refer you to a qualified therapist.

Support groups can also be a helpful way for expectant mothers to cope with prenatal depression. In a support group, you’ll be able to share your feelings with other women who are experiencing similar things.

As a birth mother, you may want to look for a support group specifically for birth parents or people impacted by adoption. Organizations like the American Adoption Congress maintain state-by-state lists of support groups, including groups specifically for birth parents.

Medications and medical interventions like electroconvulsive therapy (ECT) are also possibilities, but carry risks for pregnant women and their babies, but they can also have benefits for both mother and child, especially in more severe cases of depression. Each case is different, so you’ll have to talk to your doctor about the risks and benefits of medications or medical interventions for you.

Early diagnosis and treatment can lessen the impact of prenatal depression and prevent it from becoming more severe, so be sure to mention it to your doctor if you feel that you may be at risk or experiencing symptoms.

Prenatal depression is very treatable and doesn’t have to ruin your pregnancy, delivery, or adoption experience. Counseling offered by a good adoption agency can help you cope with depression and other obstacles during your pregnancy.

3 Important Decisions When Placing a Baby for Adoption

Tue, 08 Jan 2019 19:29:43 GMT

The decision to give up a baby for adoption is life-changing. After you have decided to put a baby up for adoption, you will have to decide which adoption agency to use, which family gets the baby, and whether or not you would like to stay in touch with the baby after adoption.

Making these decisions will help you have a less stressful pregnancy and a smoother adoption experience. Here is what you need to know about these three important decisions before placing your baby up for adoption.

1. Which Adoption Agency Will You Use?

Adoption agencies are all different, so the first thing you will have to do is look for the right adoption agency for you. Different adoption agencies may follow different procedures and offer birth mothers different levels of control throughout the adoption process. When making this decision, start by examining the different processes at each agency you consider.

Payment

Are you expected to pay for lawyers, medical care, adoption fees, or travel during the adoption process? Some agencies help birth mothers get through adoption without paying anything, while others may require birth mothers to pay for some services. Look for the agency that will enable you to get through the adoption process while staying within your budget.

Placement

What does the agency do to ensure that each child is placed in a safe and loving home? What is the home study process, and how thorough is it? Answer these questions and find an agency with processes that make you feel comfortable.

Reputation and Professionalism

Reputation and professionalism are critical for a sensitive process like adoption. When you sign up with an agency to place a baby up for adoption, choose an agency that is reputable and well-established in the community. You need to consider many things when trying to gauge an agency’s reputation and business processes:

Testimonials. Research testimonials and real-life stories about experiences with the adoption agency.
references. Some adoption agencies may provide references that you can contact about their experience with the agency.
Process. Different agencies will have different processes for facilitating adoption; consider all processes when trying to choose the agency for you.

Explore the agency’s website to read as much as you can. Read their about section, FAQs, and any information about their philosophy, customer service, and commitment to professionalism. Call agencies that you are seriously considering, and ask them questions until you find an agency that makes you feel comfortable.

2. How Will You Choose a Family for the Baby?

Agencies commonly give birth mothers the ability to choose the home where their baby is placed. Choosing the family is a big responsibility. Consider your priorities and how you would like the child to be raised. Factors to consider include:

Presence of siblings and pets
Approach to parenting
Environment where the child will live
Financial security

The agency you choose may give you the ability to search through profiles, scrapbooks, letters, or home studies to choose the right family for the adoption. If you are not sure what you want, write a list that will help you sort out your priorities. You might want to write a description of the ideal family for your child. This will help you sort out what is most important to you.

3. Will You Stay in Touch With the Baby?

Some birth mothers choose to stay in contact with the adopting family, while others do not. You will need to decide for yourself how often you want to have updates and what kind of contact you’d like to have with the adopting family. Once you know how involved you would like to be, you will need to communicate your wishes with the adoption agency.

Write a plan, including how often and what kind of contact you would like to have with the adopting family. Putting your wishes in writing will help you solidify your plan, think through the details, and ensure that others will understand and follow your plan.

Work With Your Adoption Specialist

The decisions described above are difficult for birth mothers to make, especially for birth mothers who have never gone through the adoption process before. Working with an adoption specialist at a reputable adoption agency can help. Your adoption specialist can answer your questions and give you perspective that can help you make decisions.

Getting started early in the pregnancy can help ensure that you have the time you need to make the right decisions for your child. If you are pregnant and want to place the baby for adoption, contact a reputable agency today.

At A Child’s Dream, we provide expertise and assistance for birth mothers during the adoption process. If you have questions about placing your baby up for adoption, contact us today for more information. We look forward to helping you during this important time.

8 Healthy Habits for Pregnant Mothers

Wed, 05 Dec 2018 19:19:43 GMT

Pregnancy causes many changes in the body, including changes in hormones and immune function. These changes often require pregnant women to take better care of themselves. Taking good care of yourself during pregnancy can help keep you and your baby safe. Healthy habits can even lead to an easier labor and delivery. Here is what you need to know.

1. Take Prenatal Vitamins

Prenatal vitamins contain a lot of the nutrients that pregnant women should consume to ensure healthy development of the fetus. One of these vitamins is called folic acid. Taking folic acid reduces the baby’s risk of neural tube defects like spina bifida.

Prenatal vitamins also contain iron, which delivers oxygen to your baby, as well as calcium. You will need calcium because you may lose bone density during pregnancy. Follow instructions on the prenatal vitamin bottle to ensure that you take enough capsules throughout pregnancy.

2. Protect Yourself from Listeria

Listeria is a bacteria that can harm you and your baby. It causes a sickness called listeriosis. Pregnant women are more likely to have listeria than women who are not pregnant. Women who have listeriosis can experience fever, chills, and flu-like symptoms. Pregnant women with listeriosis are also at serious risk of miscarriage.

People can have exposure to listeria by consuming unpasteurized milk, uncooked meats and vegetables, and processed foods. However, careful food consumption can help protect you from listeria. These tips will help:

Avoid unpasteurized milk and soft cheeses made from unpasteurized milk.
Do not eat raw meat.
Do not eat smoked, uncooked seafood.
Wash all vegetables well before eating.
Do not eat meat spreads.

Following these tips can help you avoid exposure to listeria bacteria and thus can protect you from listeriosis itself.

3. Drink Water and Milk

Pregnant women spend a lot of their time thirsty. Carry a metal water bottle with you wherever you go so you will have always have something to drink. Drinking milk will help you get the extra calcium you need to stay healthy while pregnant.

4. Eat Fruits, Vegetables, and Beans

Prenatal vitamins do not cover all of your nutritional needs. A significant percentage of your daily nutrition should come from healthy vegetables and lean protein sources like beans. Eat leafy greens and legumes to get more folic acid. Consume fruits that are high in vitamin C, like honeydew, oranges, broccoli, and grapefruit. To boost your calcium intake, eat yogurt mixed with your fruit.

5. Exercise Regularly

Exercise is very important during pregnancy because it helps regulate your mood and makes sleeping easier. Exercise is also good for circulation. Gentle forms of exercise are best, particularly exercise regimens specially designed for pregnant women. Walking, yoga, meditation, and swimming are all good for pregnant women.

Talk to your doctor about what types of exercise are best for you. Your doctor can also help you decide how often you should exercise in order to stay healthy.

6. Track Weight Gain

You should gain weight during pregnancy. In addition to the weight of the baby, your body will have more blood, a larger uterus, and bigger breasts. Most women will gain between 25 and 35 pounds during pregnancy. However, too much weight gain during pregnancy can put you and your child at risk. Tracking your weight gain throughout the pregnancy can help you avoid obesity.

If you were overweight when you became pregnant, you may need to gain less weight during pregnancy. If you were underweight when you became pregnant, you may need to gain more weight. Women who are pregnant with twins will gain more weight than women who are not.

Talk to your physician to find out how much weight you can expect to gain while pregnant and then monitor your weight gain to ensure you are on track.

7. Cut Out Certain Types of Fish

Some types of fish contain high levels of mercury, which can impact your baby’s brain development. Often shark, tilefish, swordfish, and king mackerel are the worst types of fish for pregnant women. Tuna can also be problematic, so women should limit the amount of tuna they consume.

8. Sleep at Least 7 Hours Daily

Women who do not get enough sleep at night are more likely to experience complications during labor and are more likely to need a C-section. Sleeping can be difficult for pregnant mothers, so women should lay in bed for at least 8 hours each day in order to get at least 7 hours each day.

Women who have an especially hard time falling asleep may need to work with their doctor to devise strategies that will help.

If you are pregnant and have more questions about what to expect during pregnancy, contact A Child’s Dream today. Our birth mother specialists are here for you through every step of your pregnancy.

Symptoms You Should Never Ignore While Pregnant

Mon, 26 Nov 2018 19:09:24 GMT

From heartburn to nausea and exhaustion, you often experience several uncomfortable symptoms while pregnant. In most cases, these unwanted symptoms are completely normal and will improve as the pregnancy continues or go away completely once the baby is born. However, other symptoms of sickness exist that you shouldn’t ignore.

If you experience any of these symptoms during pregnancy, contact your physician right away.

Fever

From the common cold, an ear infection, or strep throat, many illnesses can cause a fever in a pregnant woman. If you’re busy or have other kids to care for, you may ignore the fever and continue your busy day. However, once your fever reaches 100.4 degrees Fahrenheit, lasts for longer than 24 hours, or is accompanied by a rash and stomach pains, you should contact your physician.

Something more serious could cause the fever, such as food poisoning, varicella, or toxoplasmosis, a deadly parasitic infection. That’s why you always need to check.

Contact your doctor before taking any over the counter medications to treat your fever as well. Some fever-reducing medications, including ibuprofen, is potentially dangerous to the baby, particularly in the third trimester.

Back Pain that Won’t Go Away

Changes in posture, weight gain, and hormonal changes are some of the many reasons why around 80 percent of pregnant women experience back pain. Lying on your side and taking a doctor-approved over the counter pain reliever is typically enough to ease the discomfort. However, if you experience severe back pain in conjunction with other symptoms, the problem could be more serious.

Persistent back pain, a fever, chills, and frequent urination is often a sign of a kidney or urinary tract infection, which needs immediate treatment with antibiotics. Changes in vaginal discharge, spotting or bleeding, and back pain that feels tight or unusual are often signs of preterm labor.

Severe Swelling in the Hands or Face

Swelling is another unfortunate part of pregnancy that occurs because of the excess fluids and blood needed to support the growing fetus. Many pregnant women experience swelling primarily in the hands and feet, particularly during the third trimester.

In most cases, resting, avoiding caffeine and sodium, and staying out of the heat is enough to bring the swelling under control. If swelling is severe, sudden, occurs in the hands and face, and is accompanied by a severe headache, blurry vision, decreased urination, and nausea, the issue could be a serious condition called preeclampsia.

Preeclampsia is a condition that can occur anytime during pregnancy and causes a spike in blood pressure. The only cure for preeclampsia is to deliver the baby. Untreated preeclampsia develops into eclampsia, which is life-threatening to the birth mother and baby.

Severe Itching

Mild itching is another common issue many pregnant women experience. Increased blood production and skin stretching to accommodate your growing baby together can make your skin feel tight and itchy. Luckily, taking a bath or applying a moisturizing lotion to the affected skin typically relieves the mild itching.

Severe, unrelenting itching that begins near the end of the second trimester, is worse at night, and occurs on the palms and bottom of your feet are signs of a serious condition called obstetric cholestasis.

Otherwise known as intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy, obstetric cholestasis is a severe liver disorder that can negatively impact the baby but typically doesn’t affect the birth mother’s health. Your body creates bile in the liver, stores the bile in the gallbladder, and has the bile travels to the intestines to aid in digestion.

However, with pregnant women who have obstetric cholestasis, the bile, which contains acids, doesn’t filter into the digestive tract properly. The buildup of bile is very harmful to the baby. The only way to cure obstetric cholestasis is to deliver the baby.

Sudden Decrease in Movement at Any Point of the Pregnancy

Most pregnant women feel a baby’s kicking or movement anywhere from 13 to 25 weeks . By 28 weeks, your doctor might recommend counting your baby’s kicks and movements. This is a simple way to ensure the baby is active and developing normally. Most babies will remain very active throughout the second trimester and the beginning of the third.

By the ninth month of pregnancy, the uterus is very crowded, and a baby will be less active. However, you should still feel movement throughout the day. If the baby’s movements decrease dramatically, your doctor might recommend counting kicks for a two-hour period. If less than 10 kicks in two hours occur, contact your doctor immediately.

Your doctor will perform a battery of tests, including an ultrasound, to determine why the baby’s movements have slowed down.

As the birth mother, you want to ensure you and the baby remain as healthy as possible throughout the pregnancy. If you have any questions about the adoption process, contact the professionals at A Child’s Dream .

Comfortable Must-Have Clothes to Wear During Pregnancy

Thu, 06 Sep 2018 19:04:09 GMT

Pregnancy is a time when many women experience physical discomfort like sore muscles, back pain, and pain in the breasts. Wearing the right clothes during this time is very important. Comfortable clothes can help reduce discomfort and make the overall experience of being pregnant easier to tolerate.

However, many women hesitate to buy a full wardrobe for a period of time that will last no longer than nine months. Instead, many prefer to buy only a few of the most important items. However, which ones are the most important? This article will explore some of the most helpful items of clothing you can obtain during your nine month wait.

Maternity Bra

If you are like most women, your breasts will swell during your pregnancy. Women often change bras at least once during this time, and some will change bras twice.

Although you might be able to get away with wearing a standard bra in a slightly larger size, you will likely be happier if you buy a maternity bra. These bras have extra padding and no underwire. They offer the same type of support as normal bras but are often more comfortable. You will appreciate your maternity bra when your breasts become sore.

Over the Belly Yoga Pants

As the baby grows in the body, many women find normal maneuvering to be a challenge. Stiff pants make moving even harder, so jeans often fall out of favor during pregnancy. Many women find the most comfortable pants to wear while pregnant are yoga pants. Made from stretchy, soft material, yoga pants do almost nothing to inhibit movement.

In early stages of pregnancy, some women wear yoga pants that stay up with an elastic band around the stomach. However, for women in the later stages of pregnancy, this style of pant may not grip the belly tight enough to stay up. Over the belly yoga pants are more likely to stay up through all stages of pregnancy, even in the weeks close to labor and delivery.

Solid Colored T-Shirts

T-shirts are comfortable and practical because they can be dressed up to wear to work or dressed down to wear around the house.

T-shirts featuring a cute message are fun. However, message shirts are less flexible because they are hard to dress up.

If you want to buy only a few practical t-shirts for your pregnancy, solid-colored shirts are best. Solid shirts are easy to wear to just about any place and for any kind of occasion, except maybe in the most formal circumstances.

Maxi Dress

A maxi dress is a dress that is often formfitting on top and long and flowing beneath the breasts. Maxi dresses are one of the most practical types of dresses for a pregnant woman because they are comfortable to wear at home or out on the town. You can wear them to formal occasions like weddings or just when sitting around the house.

Maternity maxi dresses are also practical because their flowing nature means that they continue to fit even as the belly grows.

For a woman who wants to buy only one dress for their pregnancy, black is a practical color. Black dresses look pleasantly formal and beautiful but can also be casual.

Comfortable Slippers and Flip-Flops

Feet and ankles often swell during pregnancy, which can make wearing normal shoes uncomfortable. A flexible pair of shoes like a good pair of flip-flops can help ensure that you will have something comfy to wear at home or while out running errands. Best of all, flip-flops aren’t expensive, so even if you have to buy a pair in a size up, you won’t need to invest a lot of money in your shoes.

Even with a pair of flip-flops to wear outside and around town, you will still want something soft and padded to wear at night. If your feet swell too much, your normal slippers may not fit. Buy a pair of slippers in a size up so you will be sure to have something you can wear in your pajamas.

Bellyband

A bellyband is not an ordinary item of clothing, but it does provide critical belly support. Bellybands help with back pain while correcting your posture. However, many pregnant women use their bellyband as an accessory that slips over the top of the pants and prevents them from falling down. This makes wearing non-maternity pants a possibility for longer into the pregnancy than might otherwise be possible.

Do you have more questions about how to manage your pregnancy? At A Child’s Dream, we help pregnant women navigate their nine months of pregnancy. We provide support to pregnant women and are happy to answer all your questions about pregnancy. Contact us today to find out more. Our experienced and compassionate staff members are here to help you.

6 Tips for Reducing Discomfort During Pregnancy

Tue, 08 May 2018 15:21:18 GMT

Even though you have made the choice to place your baby with adoptive parents, you still experience all of the symptoms of pregnancy. Some of the symptoms can be uncomfortable or even painful for women. When you want to focus on improving your own future and choosing the right future for your child, these discomforts can be frustrating to deal with.

However, you don’t just have to live with them until delivery. There are some things you can do on a daily basis to help make your pregnancy more enjoyable.

1. Wear Comfortable and Supportive Shoes

Some women can start to experience foot pain during pregnancy. Foot pain usually occurs because of increased swelling in the feet, weight gain over a short period of time and lack of supportive footwear. It’s hard to fit into your old tennis shoes when your feet are swelling.

However, simply wearing flip flops until your pregnancy is over will only make foot pain more severe. Try to find a pair of supportive shoes that will fit, even if you have to get them larger than your normal street size.

Supportive shoes don’t just help with foot pain. They can help you from the ground up by making lower leg and hip pain more manageable as well. Also, don’t forget to stay away from shoes that will only make foot pain worse. Heels, for example, throw off your center of gravity and put a lot of pressure on your heels and lower back.

2. Join a Local Yoga Class

Check your community center or local fitness center for open yoga classes. Some centers for mother support or women’s health may also offer some prenatal yoga classes. Even if you have not done yoga before, prenatal yoga helps you to stretch safely and keep your muscles strong.

Strength and stretching make it easier for your body to handle the stress of pregnancy, which is why yoga can be so helpful for reducing general discomfort and sore areas.

3. Practice Deep Breathing

Since becoming pregnant, you have probably been dealing with stress after stress. While your social worker and adoption agency can help you navigate the process of choosing a home for your baby, it’s still an emotional time that can affect your physical health.

Increased emotional and mental stress can actually make physical aches and pains more severe. Stress raises the cortisol levels in your body. This hormone is usually there to help stimulate your muscles, nerves and heart when you need a “fight or flight” response.

However, with prolonged exposure to cortisol, your muscles become tired, your digestion suffers and you might experience more headaches, weight gain and difficulty sleeping. All of these translate to increased pain. Deep breathing can help you learn to decrease stress. Take long, slow meditative breaths.

Sometimes it can help to listen to a meditation track with guided breathing. The breathing will not only help you manage stress during your pregnancy, but it will also help you during labor and delivery as well. There are meditative tracks available specifically for expecting mothers to help reduce your fear and anxiety.

4. Take Advantage of Heat

For lower back pain, round ligament pain or neck pain, you might enjoy a hot compress. You can get an electric heating pad from your local store, or you could make a heating pad with a fabric bag and some rice. When microwaved, the rice becomes hot and you can use the hot bag as a compress for areas that are sore.

Using heat helps to increase circulation to a sore area, and it helps during pregnancy because the heat can also encourage normally uncomfortable areas to release tension.

5. Get in the Water

If you have a bathtub at your home, take advantage of it. The water helps to lift some weight from your joints, and the warmth from the water is like an all-encompassing warm compress. Just don’t make the water too hot. Hot tubs are not safe for pregnant women, so your bath at home should be pleasantly warm but not hot enough to redden the skin.

If you don’t have a bathtub, consider taking a dip in your local pool or visit a friend who has a pool or bathtub you can borrow when you’re really feeling uncomfortable. Swimming is great exercise for pregnant women, and it is also completely safe for the baby.

6. Stay Active

You might not feel like working out very much, especially when queasy or tired. However, even incorporating a simple walk into your day can help with aches and pains. You may find that lying or sitting down too long is what makes your hips, back or shoulders begin to feel sore.

Exercise prevents excessive weight gain during pregnancy, and it also keeps your muscles stronger. You’ll usually have a better delivery and recover more quickly after birth if you are active.

For more information about staying healthy during your pregnancy, contact us at A Child’s Dream . We work hard to make sure birth mothers feel welcome, empowered and capable.

School and Pregnancy: How to Continue Your Education While Pregnant

Tue, 08 May 2018 14:55:23 GMT

If you’re unexpectedly pregnant before you have had the chance to finish high school, you may feel overwhelmed and discouraged about how you might be able to continue going to school while also juggling the demands of pregnancy and deciding whether to place your baby for adoption.

Finishing high school should be a high priority because it will help set you on the path of other educational pursuits and better job opportunities. If you’re uncertain about how you might approach your education during pregnancy, here are some considerations to help you know what you can do.

Speak With Your High School Counselor

As soon as you have discovered your pregnancy, you should make an appointment to meet with your high school guidance counselor. You can explain your decisions and desires for yourself and your baby, and you can also learn about the support your school offers for teen mothers.

If you are in public school, you cannot be kicked out or expelled for becoming pregnant. Your school is legally obliged to help you continue your education as far as their resources will allow. Your parents are also not legally permitted to keep you from going to school if it is your desire to go. If your family is encouraging you to drop out, get direction from your guidance counselor.

You might be able to rearrange your schedule or take fewer classes. Your counselor can also let your teachers know what you are facing so they can implement changes to test dates or homework assignments as necessary.

Consider Alternative Education Methods

Some young women struggle with the idea of continuing to go to public school when they are pregnant. You may feel continually sick and tired, or you may have difficulty concentrating. Some women need to be on bed rest if the pregnancy require extra care.

You might also wish for privacy, especially if you have friends who will ask you questions before and after the baby is born. Recovery from delivery can also take several weeks, which can be hard for you if you give birth during the school year.

Finally, adoption may be the right choice for you, but you may struggle with concentrating on schoolwork directly after placing your baby, simply because it is an emotional time. If you feel like attending high school regularly will be problematic for you, you still have options. Consider:

Online classes. Most public school districts have home study class options. You can usually do these at your own pace, so taking a day off because you’re feeling too sick is easy. You can also continue to work on classes if you’re on bed rest or recovering.
Community classes. If you have already dropped out of your high school, you can look for community education resources. Some community centers will offer adult education courses or courses especially for young mothers who have not finished high school.
Community college. Some community colleges will offer “gap” courses to help you get the GED prerequisites to attending college.

Alternative methods of achieving your education are just as valid as attending public school. Make a plan for what you’d like to do with your future. After getting your basic diploma, you might take some simple certification classes to help you get a good job in your community.

Get Outside Support

Many young women end up dropping out of high school because they feel they don’t have the support necessary to succeed. In low-income schools where many young women need assistance, it’s easier to fall through the cracks than to stay on the course. It helps to have outside support to encourage you, especially when you are making decisions about adoption while also managing your pregnancy.

There are many sources for support even if you don’t have a parent at home to help you. Consider leaning on:

Another relative. An aunt, cousin, or even sibling can help you on days when you feel overwhelmed.
Your adoption social worker. When going through an agency to place your baby for adoption, you have access to a social worker who can help you navigate the legal and emotional challenges of finding the right family for your baby.
A counselor. Pregnancy counseling may be provided by your adoption agency. A standing appointment can help you to work through personal barriers that might be preventing you from finishing your education.
A teacher. If you have a school teacher who is willing to provide counsel and advice, you’ll have a better chance of completing your education.

If you don’t have adult you feel you can trust, consider reaching out to community support services. You could attend a group session for other young moms who are placing their babies for adoption. The camaraderie of those facing similar challenges can be healing.

For more information on adoption and options for young moms, contact us at A Child’s Dream.

Important Ways to Focus on Self-Care During Your Pregnancy

Tue, 08 May 2018 14:49:53 GMT

Pregnancy can bring on many changes. As you adjust to them, taking excellent care of yourself needs to remain a priority. Consider these ways to engage in self-care throughout your pregnancy. When you’re doing well and feeling your best during your pregnancy, you may empower yourself to have an easier recovery after the birth, too.

Eat a Healthy, Varied Diet Rich in Fruits and Vegetables

When many people discuss dieting, they are referring to calorie restriction. However, you should never cut back on calories when you’re pregnant unless your doctor advises you to do so. Instead, try to eat a varied, healthy diet. Your doctor is likely to recommend a prenatal multivitamin to complement your diet.

Eating many fruits and vegetables can provide you with the 70 mg of vitamin C you should be consuming daily during your pregnancy. Eat plenty of tomatoes, brussels sprouts, oranges, and tangerines. Plant-based proteins like nuts and legumes also offer many health benefits. Whole grains and enriched breads are smart choices for essential carbohydrates.

Talk to a Therapist About the Changes in Your Life

The Washington Post reported that 15 to 20 percent of pregnant women struggle with a maternal mental health disorder. Many pregnant women struggle with depression and anxiety. Try to minimize your risk of struggling with these problems yourself by being proactive about your own mental health throughout your pregnancy.

This can mean going to see a therapist. After all, a therapist can help you handle the many complex emotions that come along with any pregnancy. Psychotherapy can also be a safe place for you to discuss mixed feelings about keeping your baby or choosing adoption. A counselor can help you explore these feelings and learn more about yourself.

Get Plenty of Rest

According to the National Sleep Foundation, pregnant women might need either a few extra hours of sleep at night or a few naps throughout the day. However, it may not always be easy to get to sleep when you are pregnant. Things such as frequent urination, heartburn, fetal movement, nausea, and vomiting can have an impact on how well you sleep.

To fall asleep more easily, pay attention to what things help enhance your comfort. For example, try sleeping on your side. Place a pregnancy pillow between your bent knees before going to sleep and elevating the head of your bed. Also, try to relax for the hour before bedtime by reading or engaging in another stress-free activity.

Make Time to Have Fun With Friends

Some pregnant women isolate themselves from friends and family members. Don’t make that mistake. You need the support of your loved ones during this time in your life. Try to schedule time with your friends every week. It’s good for you! In fact, it’s been shown that spending time with a best friend can reduce stress levels, and every pregnant woman could use less stress.

You don’t have to get all dressed up, block out a whole day, or spend money at a restaurant to enjoy time with friends. Simplify things. You may invite a friend out to do errands with you. Bring some water and healthy snacks along. If you offer to return the favor, running errands might become a regularly shared activity that seems a lot less boring with company.

Also, get creative. Invite friends over for an at-home spa afternoon. You can set up fun little beauty stations where you can display nail polishes for do-it-yourself manicures and pedicures. Put on facial masks and read magazines while enjoying one another’s company. This enables you to pamper yourself while being frugal and making memories with friends.

Keep Moving Your Body

Talk to your doctor about what they recommend for exercise during your pregnancy. Ask them about how safe your favorite physical activities are during the coming months. You may be able to do all the things you enjoyed before. If not, try to explore new physical activities that are safe during the pregnancy.

A lot of workouts have been designed with pregnant women in mind. Denise Austin and other fitness celebrities have released exercise DVDs that are designed specifically for pregnant bodies. If you prefer to exercise with others, pregnancy yoga classes are available in most big cities. Also, consider asking whether your gym has any classes geared towards pregnant women.

Finally, when you make time to take stellar care of yourself each day, you’ll enjoy both short-term and long-term benefits. You will look and feel better. You will build up your physical and emotional strength. Taking care of yourself may also help make this time of your life easier and more peaceful.

If you are considering adoption as your pregnancy progresses, contact the caring adoption counselors at A Child’s Dream . We can help alleviate stress, answer any questions you may have, and empower you with information to make a well-informed choice.

Staying Safe During Pregnancy: What Birth Moms Need to Know

Tue, 08 May 2018 06:17:54 GMT

Many women who find themselves unexpectedly pregnant may feel like they don’t have the resources to know what to do to care for themselves or their baby during pregnancy. You might have a lot of questions, and people you know may give you advice on things you should and shouldn’t do during pregnancy.

Some things that aren’t safe for you to do when pregnant. There are other things that you can and should continue to do during pregnancy, even though many people mistakenly believe they could be harmful. Here’s what you need to know about keeping yourself and your baby safe during your pregnancy.

Strenuous Activity

In decades past, many people believed that pregnant women should simply rest as much as they could. Women were prevented from lifting heavy loads or even walking far distances. However, modern research shows that moderate exercise is healthy for you during pregnancy, and exercise is perfectly safe for the baby. However, you should know about some risks.

For example, if you are teenager currently playing sports for a school team, you need to speak with a school counselor about your pregnancy and let your coach know. Some sports, like track and field, are fine to continue as long as you are healthy. Others like soccer, volleyball, and softball are riskier because of the chance of injury or collision.

You also might not be able to continue with certain activities as your pregnancy progresses. For example, some pregnant women enjoy riding a bike, but this can get harder to do when your center of gravity changes.

Be sure you talk to a doctor about any concerns you might have. If you experience abdominal pain, dizziness, breathing problems, or if you see lights in your vision, you should stop activity until you have been seen by a health professional.

Working

Many birth moms have full or part-time jobs to try and make ends meet. Working while pregnant is usually perfectly fine, but you have some things to keep in mind.

Fatigue

You may feel more tired than usual at work, especially during the first trimester. If you have trouble staying awake or feeling energized, try not to rely on caffeine too much. A limited amount (less than 200mg) is generally considered safe. One cup of coffee (or a similar amount of caffeinated soda) daily should be your limit.

To help with tiredness, try to get more sleep when you are not at school or work. You might go to bed an hour earlier each night, or take a 20 minute power nap in the afternoon.

Foot and Joint Pain

If you spend a lot of time on your feet, you should try to wear supportive shoes as your pregnancy progresses. This can help with joint pain and swelling in your feet. Compression stockings can also help with swelling and foot pain.

If you spend a lot of time sitting, like at a desk job, you can prevent strain on your legs by getting up every so often to walk around. If you can, try to sit with good posture to help reduce strain on your back.

Exposure

Some jobs require the use of chemicals, industrial strength cleaners, or other strong materials. Use increased caution when you’re working with paint thinners, lead, oil-based paint sealers, pesticides, and cleaning products. Wear gloves, long sleeves, pants, eye protection, and a breathing mask when working in an environment that might expose you to toxins.

Wash your hands often if you work in food care or hospitality to prevent illness.

Food Habits

More people are aware of things they can and can’t eat during pregnancy, but some girls are surprised at some of the things that are not as safe. Be sure to avoid:

Alcohol. Some people who will tell you a little is okay now and then, but for the safety of the baby, pregnant women should not drink at all.
Sushi and any raw fish. Some sushi, like those rolls made with cooked crab meat, are safe, but any with raw fish could risk food poisoning, which is much more serious when you are pregnant.
Raw sprouts. These are also a risky food for food poisoning, so leave them off your sandwiches.
Fish. Some fish types are fine for pregnancy, but others are high in mercury. Swordfish, marlin, tuna, and other predatory fishes have high levels of mercury.
Salmon is usually safe.

Low-income mothers can often receive assistance for healthy foods during pregnancy. Your local WIC office can provide classes on nutrition during pregnancy and give vouchers for wholesome foods like whole-grain breads, cheese, and fresh vegetables and fruits.

Hygiene

Your basic hygiene routine can stay the same for the most part during pregnancy. However, you should not go tanning or use tanning lotions when pregnant, nor should you use any herbal supplements without speaking to your doctors. Herbal skin care regimens and essential oils can seem healthy, but some are still not tested or deemed safe for pregnant women. For more information on preparing for adoption and taking care of yourself during pregnancy, contact us at A Child’s Dream .

The Role of Birth Fathers in the Adoption Process

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 14:25:12 GMT

When discussing the adoption process, most conversations include the birth mother, the adoptive family, and, of course, the child. Many conversations about adoption do not include the birth father.

This omission can leave some birth mothers unprepared for the role that the baby’s father may have in the process.

The role the birth father in the adoption process largely depends on the individual situations of both birth parents. In this blog, we list several common scenarios and explain how the circumstances may impact the role of the birth father.

Birth Parents Are Together and Both Support Adoption

If you are married to, in a civil union with, or cohabitating with the baby’s father, you may make the decision to opt for adoption together. In this situation, you’ll want to work as a team to create an adoption plan and choose an adoptive family.

Your partner is welcome to attend any legal or medical appointment you may have during the pregnancy and adoption process.

Birth Parents Are Together but the Father Is Opposed to Adoption

If you and your partner have differing opinions about adoption, you may want to visit doctors, adoption specialists, and a counselor together. This decision can be a difficult one for any expectant mother. Adding an unsupportive birth father makes the process even more complex.

With time and more information, the birth father may become supportive of your plan. If he stays opposed to adoption and your plan remains the same, he must pursue custody of the child as an individual, which we’ll discuss in the next section.

Birth Parents Are Not Together and the Father Is Opposed to Adoption

If the baby’s birth father is opposed to adoption, his rights and options are essentially the same regardless of whether or not he and the birth mother are still together. If he would like to take on the responsibilities of raising the child on his own, he can petition for custody.

In order to be granted custody, the birth father must demonstrate that he wants to and can provide for the child himself. If custody is granted, he’ll retain his parental rights and gain custody after the child is born.

In some situations, the birth father cannot be given custody, which we’ll discuss in a later section.

Birth Parents Are Together but the Father Supports Abortion

Abortion is sometimes seen as a simpler solution to an unwanted pregnancy than carrying the pregnancy to term and putting the baby up for adoption. Abortion and adoption are both deeply personal decisions that should be made after careful consideration.

Even if the baby’s father supports abortion, the choice is still up to the birth mother. After all, the birth mother is the one who must bear the brunt of the physical and emotional effects of either abortion or adoption.

It may be helpful to seek advice from qualified medical and adoption professionals, both on your own and with your partner. Ideally, you and the baby’s father would come to the same conclusion after receiving more information, but even if you don’t see eye to eye, these appointments can help you feel more confident in your final choice.

Birth Father Is Unfit

Some individuals are considered legally unfit to raise children. Whether or not you’re still with the baby’s father does not have an impact on whether he qualifies as a fit parent in the eyes of a family court.

If the baby’s father wants to keep the child or pursue custody himself, his parental rights and related options may vary if he:

Cannot emotionally, physically, or financially provide for a child.
Has a history of domestic violence.
Has a history of sporadic or reckless behavior.
Is an active duty military member who is currently deployed.
Is currently incarcerated.

In these situations, a birth mother should consult with an attorney to determine the best way to proceed with the adoption with or without the birth father’s consent.

It’s important to note that birth fathers who are deployed or incarcerated who are supportive of adoption can still be involved in the adoption planning process.

Birth Father Is Unknown

If you are unsure who the birth father of your child is, you should notify your attorney and the adoption professionals you work with. In most cases, you must make an effort to identify and notify the father if possible.

However, if the birth father does not support you financially during the pregnancy and does not establish paternity in any other legally binding way, his consent has no bearing on the adoption process.

Whether you are a single birth mother or a happily married woman with a supportive husband, the decision to put your child up for adoption can be a difficult one. As you assess your options, contact a birth mother specialist with A Child’s Dream.

Our birth mother specialists can connect you with counselors, social workers, housing providers, and medical professionals as well as potential adoptive families. Whatever your situation, we can help.

Teen Pregnancy: The Adoption Option

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 14:19:16 GMT

An unplanned teenage pregnancy is a life-changing event that brings with it an overwhelming amount of responsibility. Even if you are thinking about placing your child for adoption, you face a lot of responsibilities.

Placing your baby for adoption can lead to a better life for both your baby and you, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s an easy decision to make. You need to be aware of things you can do to make both your pregnancy and the adoption process easier.

Surround Yourself With Caring People

Of the number of teen pregnancies in the U.S., 77 percent are unplanned. Yet whether or not you consider the possibility of adoption, it’s important to surround yourself with people who are willing to give you the amount of emotional support you need throughout your pregnancy and afterward.

Look to family members, friends and clergy who will listen and help you make choices that will benefit your baby and you. Choosing adoption will allow you to continue your education and pursue your life’s goals. It can also provide a more secure future for your baby.

Even so, you may experience guilt, anger, depression and sorrow over losing your baby to adoption. Acceptance eventually occurs, but it takes time. That’s why you need caring people who will listen to you and provide you with support as you sort through your emotions.

Get Support From Outside Sources

Being able to openly share your feelings about your pregnancy and impending adoption can help so that you don’t feel alone. If you don’t have a strong social support network, seek professional counseling with a therapist who has experience helping birth parents with the emotional impact of adoption.

You can also look for social and emotional support from a support group for birth parents. Whether from professionals or others in a similar situation, counseling and emotional support can help you deal with any confusion or regret you might feel so that you can move on with your life.

Increase the Chances for a Healthy Pregnancy

Proper medical care is important for the healthy development of your baby and reduces your risk of pregnancy complications such as anemia, high blood pressure and premature labor. But pregnant teens don’t always get the prenatal care they need, especially early on in the pregnancy.

If you have no other health insurance, you may qualify for medical coverage through your state’s medical assistance program. Government-issued health insurance, which pays for prenatal care and delivery of the baby, is available to pregnant women not covered by another health plan.

Consequently, you have no reason not to make an appointment with a doctor or other health care provider to get the medical care you need. Following a physical examination, he or she will offer advice on exercise and nutrition, as well as order screening tests for rubella, chickenpox, hepatitis B and sexually transmitted diseases — all conditions that can be harmful to your baby.

Recognize the Signs of Postpartum Depression

Teen pregnancy can also lead to depression. In fact, teen pregnancy is a risk factor for postpartum depression. The feelings that accompany an unplanned pregnancy or the lack of emotional support throughout your pregnancy can put you at even greater risk for suffering depression afterward.

Postpartum depression is often accompanied by anxiety, sleep problems, extreme irritability, severe mood swings and the inability to concentrate. Whether or not you keep your baby, postpartum depression, which affects twice as many teens as adults, can have serious implications.

However, maintaining a more positive outlook on the situation contributes to a healthy pregnancy and healthier postnatal period. Even for women who plan their pregnancies, worry over health problems, finances, lifestyle changes and their relationship with their partner puts emotional and physical stress on the body. Getting help addressing these concerns can decrease the stress and emotional strain you feel.

Consider Other Aspects of Your Situation

Aside from the emotional support you receive from those close to you, your moral values and spiritual beliefs may play a role in your decision to put your baby up for adoption. Your level of education and financial stability at the time of the pregnancy can play key roles as well.

Higher education usually is required to establish a career plan with a good outlook that will provide the income you need to raise a child. But if you drop out of school when you become pregnant or do not get adequate job training, you may find yourself unemployed or with limited job opportunities — both of which can have economic effects and may lead to living in poverty.

Add to the economic considerations the reactions of others when they find out that you are pregnant, and you may feel alone and incapable of raising a child at this point in your life. Yet the pain of giving up your child is something with which you must deal. Therefore, it comes down to deciding whether adoption is the right choice for you.

Adoption is a complicated process, but the experienced staff of A Child’s Dream can help you make an informed decision and, if you decide that it is the best option for you, can also aid you in navigating the adoption process.

Should I Choose Adoption for My Baby?

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 14:16:24 GMT

The decision to give birth to your baby and then choose adoption is very difficult and often heartbreaking. You’ve carried your child for so long, and you want to ensure that your baby is happy. But that’s the problem-you’re not sure you can provide the type of lifestyle that will help your baby thrive.

You need to understand something: by choosing adoption for your baby, you are not “giving up” on your child. You have not failed. Adoption may be the best way to give your child a life full of laughter, health, happiness, and love. It’s a difficult choice to make, but consider your baby and his or her needs. Will your baby be happier through adoption?

To help you decide if adoption is best for you and your child, use our guide below. As you carefully consider every option for your baby, you may realize that adoption is the very best thing you can do for your child.

What Adoptive Families Provide

It may help you to imagine what life will be like for your child in the arms of an adoptive family. There are many couples who would like to adopt and have a child of their own to love and nurture. These people are not perfect-no one is-but they are good-hearted, kind people. They have been carefully screened by adoption agencies and have proven that they can care for your child.

These parents are financially stable, which means that they will be able to provide for all your baby’s physical needs. Your baby will never go without food, clothing, and a strong roof overhead. He or she will be provided for in every way.

These parents will also be able to provide a loving home full of support and patience. The couple will love your baby and do everything in their power to ensure that your child grows up healthy and happy. Your child will hear loving words and praise from his or her adoptive parents. You can rest easy knowing that your baby is growing up in a stable, joyful home.

Adoption is a great choice if the birth parents will be able to take care of your baby better than you could. But if you feel that you can provide everything your baby needs-a loving home, financial stability, and plenty of emotional support-then adoption might not be the best option for your baby. Talk with a professional adoption counselor and get a second opinion.

You Can Choose

Fifty years ago, birth mothers had almost no say in what happened to their babies after they put them up for adoption. Today, you would have an enormous amount of influence in your baby’s adoptive parents. Adoption agencies make it very easy for birth moms to be involved in every step of the adoption.

The adoption agency’s job is to find excellent adoptive parents. If you choose adoption for your child, your agency will help you find multiple candidates who match your specifications and who are upstanding, trustworthy citizens.

After your adoption agency has filtered various candidates, you can work with an adoption counselor to select your baby’s adoptive parents. In many cases, you can even meet with the couple and learn more about their personalities, lives, and goals. Your adoption specialist can facilitate the meetings and help you ask any questions you have.

If you’d like to stay in contact with your baby, you and the adoptive parents can work together to share photos, letters, and even meetings or phone calls. You may feel that it is too emotionally difficult to maintain contact with your baby, and that is your decision.

Because you’ll be so involved in the adoption process, you can be sure that this is the right choice for you and your baby. If at any time in the process you worry or become uncomfortable, you can stop or take more time. You want to ensure that your baby has the very best future possible, and you have the power to make it happen.

You Have Resources

Don’t forget that your baby will depend on you for everything in life: education, food, shelter, clothing, love, and care. And you have needs as well. An unplanned pregnancy could mean a hold on your education, career, and other plans. You can’t imagine having an abortion, and adoption allows you to provide a future for your baby while also allowing you to move forward and create a life for yourself.

If you decide that adoption is right for you and your baby, don’t forget: you have all kinds of resources available to help you. Your own family and friends can help you during this difficult decision. Your adoption agency and counselor will also help. And there are support groups that help birth mothers during and after the adoption process. Your adoption counselor can help you find such a group.

Choosing adoption can be difficult, but remember: your baby will have a life with loving, trustworthy parents who will love your baby with all of their hearts. Speak with your adoption counselor if you need more help making this decision. Love your baby-do the right thing.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Choosing Adoption for Your Baby

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 14:12:39 GMT

Choosing adoption for yourself and your baby will be a life-altering decision. Many first-time moms don’t know what to expect or what will happen when they find out they are pregnant. If your have recently discovered you are expecting a baby but are unsure whether adoption is the right decision for you, there are some questions you should ask yourself.

These questions can help you sort out your feelings about adoption, but they can also help you start making a plan for yourself and for the other people who might be affected by your choice. Some of these questions may seem simple, while others may seem hard. But addressing them can help prepare you to make the decision to choose an adoptive family for your baby.

Is There Anyone Else in the Picture?

As a mother, the choice to place your baby in an adoptive home rests with you. However, there are other people who will be affected by that choice. Sometimes in the shock of trying to do what is best for your needs and for the needs of your baby, you may not initially realize this.

For example, if the father of the baby is still present in your life, you might want to consider his opinion on whether or not to pick an open or closed adoption. Every woman’s case is different.

If you are having trouble processing these complexities, ask a trusted family member to help you brainstorm who in your life would like to continue a relationship with your baby and whether or not you want those people to influence your decision for choosing a family and adoptive agreement.

Can I Communicate My Needs Without Help?

Many birth mothers do not know what their needs are or how to ask for the things they want. It’s best to find a person you trust to help you articulate your needs. This is especially important during your pregnancy and delivery. You may have questions or requests to make of your adoption agency or your doctor.

Sometimes, an agency will provide an advocate for you, but you can bring your own support person if that would make you more comfortable. You don’t have to navigate the entire experience by yourself.

On the other hand, some mothers enjoy the independence of approaching the entire situation without the influence of another person. What you decide to do is entirely up to you and your specific preferences and personality.

What Plans Do I Have for the Future?

One of the biggest concerns that birth mothers have when they discover they are pregnant is how the pregnancy and the baby will affect their future plans. When contemplating adoption, you want to make sure you’ve considered the variables of your life and how you can meet your personal goals.

You should also meet with a pro-bono lawyer or a social worker who can help you know what benefits there are available to young moms in your area. Choosing adoption may be the best choice for you, but you should also know what other resources you might have to rely on when making your choice.

Some plans for your future you might want to think about are:

Whether or not you want to go to school. If you are in high school, you will want to consider how you might finish and graduate. Community or family support can make continuing education easier. If you hope to go to college, you should look into grants and scholarships that might be available to you.
How you want to develop relationships with others, including your baby. Write down a vision of how you want your life to look in five years. What things might you need to do now in order to make that vision a reality?
What employment options are available to you now. Some women already have work opportunities with local businesses. Others might not have had much job experience. Look into what jobs you might be able to pursue now and what career paths they could lead to.

These considerations might seem peripheral to the questions you might about adoption, but they are essential because when you choose adoption, you plan for two lives: yours and your child’s. You should not lose sight of yourself when making choices for the future.

How Do I Want to Handle the Time During Pregnancy?

When you’ve never been pregnant before, every experience and doctor’s appointment is new. However, as the mom, you have the power to choose what experience you want to have. You can choose which OBGYN you see and which procedures you agree to.

Take some time to think about the day-to-day aspects of pregnancy and how you want to handle them. Do you want to talk to the adoptive parents during pregnancy and let them know how things are going? Or would you want to keep the experience private? Do you want to continue life as usual, or do you want to spend more time in counseling and making preparations for life changes?

If you have trouble answering these or any other questions about unexpected pregnancy and adoption, contact us at A Child’s Dream.

Pregnant and Contemplating Adoption? How Counseling Can Help

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 14:07:22 GMT

Becoming unexpectedly pregnant can cause you to face the toughest decisions you’ve ever faced. Without support, you may feel like your life is spiraling out of control.

You may assume counseling is only for those with mental illness. However, counseling can be a great resource for expectant mothers who are thinking about putting their child up for adoption. Here are five ways counseling can help you.

1. It Arms You with Information

Adoption can be a complicated and frightening process. When you meet with an adoption counselor, your counselor can provide you with the information you need to make the best decision. Your counselor can talk about the pros and cons of adoption and the pros and cons of keeping your baby.

If you decide to go ahead with adoption, your counselor can give you more information about the process. He or she can discuss the process of choosing your adoptive family and what you should look for as you choose the right family for your baby.

Your counselor can also answer your questions about the difference between open and closed adoptions. He or she can let you know about the different types of open adoptions that exist. He or she can give you the information that will help you choose the option that’s best for you.

2. It Allows You to Talk with an Impartial Party

In such a difficult stage of your life, you really need to talk with someone about what you’re going through. While your significant other, your family members, and your friends can help, they are already invested in the situation. They might have their own opinions about what you should do, and those opinions might differ with your own.

A counselor can help because he or she is impartial to the situation. As a third party, your counselor can listen to your thoughts and concerns without inserting his or her own opinion and without judging your decisions.

Keep in mind that your baby’s future is your decision. Your counselor can help you weigh the options but will not make your decision for you.

3. It Helps You Process Emotions

Under the stress of the unexpected pregnancy and the decisions involved, you may feel a significant emotional impact. You’ll likely feel stress and anxiety when facing the future, especially if you’re contemplating difficult decisions like adoption. With such a significant change in your life, you might also feel powerful emotions like sadness and even anger.

A counselor can offer therapy and treatment to help you acknowledge and process these difficult emotions.

As you prepare to give your baby to his or her adopted family, you might experience a sense of loss. Your feelings can be similar to what you feel after a loved one dies. Your counselor can help guide you through the grieving process.

Some expectant mothers develop debilitating mental health problems like depression and anxiety. These emotional issues can affect your capacity to work, socialize, and perform daily tasks. If you show signs of these difficulties, your counselor can determine the best form of treatment that is healthy for both you and your baby.

4. It Helps You Deal with Crises

Many expectant mothers experience family issues, financial issues, and other problems. Some expectant mothers lose their jobs, break up with their partners, or even get disowned by their families.

An adoption counselor can connect you with the right resources for help, such as medical care and housing assistance. He or she can direct you to career counseling, which can help you figure out what you want to do for work and how to prepare for a better job.

Pregnancy can also create relationship issues between you and your partner. This is especially true if the two of you have differing ideas about parenting and about the baby’s future. A counselor can help you and your partner resolve these issues and make important decisions about your relationship. If the two of you plan to stay together, counseling can strengthen your relationship.

5. It Helps You Set Life Goals

If you don’t know where to go from here, your counselor can help you set goals and make decisions for your future. These goals could include health goals like stopping smoking and eating a healthy diet. It could also include life goals like going to college.

Setting goals can reduce your anxiety by helping you take control in your life. It can also help you gain hope and confidence as you take steps to build a great future for yourself.

As an expectant mother, you’re experiencing a lot of life changes. You don’t need to face all your challenges alone. A counselor can stand by your side to help guide you through this difficult experience.

At A Child’s Dream, we are a licensed adoption agency that offers free counseling for expectant mothers. Contact a birth mother specialist today to get the support you need.

A Birth Mother’s Decision: What to Consider When Choosing Adoptive Parents

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:33:45 GMT

If you’re a pregnant mother considering adoption, you might feel overwhelmed with choosing a family for your baby. Some birth mothers can feel a lot of anxiety over this decision. How can you know the family will be a good fit?

It’s perfectly normal to worry that you might make the wrong choice. But as the mother of your baby, you know what type of future you want for your child, and you may have an idea of what types of families will make that future possible. Here is what you should consider when deciding on the right family for your baby.

You Don’t Have to Choose

Many mothers considering adoption believe that they have to pick the right family. However, if you don’t want to make the decision yourself or if you feel like you will be unable to do so, the adoption agency, lawyer, or social worker you are working with will step in to help find a good match.

Don’t feel guilty if you are unable to choose a family on your own. You can state your preferences and the agency you’re working with can use that information to make an informed choice.

You Can Take Your Time

Don’t feel like you have to make a decision right away. Many agencies have several pre-approved families waiting for a baby, and you can read about the parents and their homes extensively without meeting anyone.

If you do choose to interview families in person, you still do not need to make a decision hastily. Take time to speak with trusted family members, friends, or with a counselor provided by your adoption agency. Many agencies offer support programs for birth mothers at no cost to you.

You Can Be Specific

Don’t be afraid to get choosy with prospective parents. Besides financial security, siblings, and other basics of family life, you should also consider:

Religion. Do you want your child to have a religious upbringing in a specific faith? You might only interview parents who share your religious beliefs.
Culture. Some mothers from ethnic backgrounds want their children to at least have some exposure to their birth culture. For example, if you have Latin heritage, you might only interview parents who speak Spanish in the home.
Family activities. Some families spend plenty of time together exploring the outdoors. Others enjoy attending sporting events or traveling. Take time to learn about the types of activities your child will be involved in when he or she joins the family. You can, to a certain extent, choose your child’s activities through the family you pick.
Values and morals. What things do you believe to be most important in life? Many adoptive mothers find comfort in choosing a family who has similar priorities to their own.

You can be very selective about potential families. Careers, the location of the home, and the neighborhood are all things that will impact your child’s quality of life. If the family is serving in the military, consider deployments and frequent moves. You can say no to families who are involved in anything you find unsuitable for your baby.

You Can Get to Know Your Chosen Family

Some birth mothers choose not to get to know the adopting family. Sometimes, forming any sort of relationship can be too painful or challenging. Others will want to get to know details and personalities about the family.

If you feel like you would like to spend time getting to know the family you choose, let your adoption agency know. They will only introduce you to families who are willing to spend time with you.

Forming this type of relationship can help you feel more comfortable with the adoption arrangement once the baby is born. Talk to your adoption agency about the type of experience that would work best for you post-birth. Some mothers want to have some time with their baby before entrusting the infant to his or her chosen parents. Others prefer a quick good-bye.

You Still Have Rights

While you should try to respect the wishes of your chosen family, you are still the child’s mother. You can craft your own birth plan and plan for your baby’s postnatal care. Make a list of the decisions you want to make for your baby—the list can give you confidence as you continue with pregnancy and delivery.

You Can Ask Tough Questions

Once you’ve learned about activities, beliefs, and neighborhoods, asking the tough questions will let you know what kind of future relationship you can expect for yourself and your baby. Consider questions like:

How involved can I be in the baby’s life?
Can I choose the baby’s name?
Will you permit letters, pictures, or holiday cards?
Can my other family members see or contact the baby as he or she grows up?

If you wish to have no contact, you can also make this preference clear when choosing families.

For more information on choosing a family for your baby and the adoption process, contact us at A Child’s Dream .

6 Emotions Birth Mothers May Experience During the Adoption Process

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:24:53 GMT

For adoptive parents, the process of bringing a new child into their family is primarily a happy one. For birth parents, however, the emotions experienced during the adoption process can be more complex.

Regardless of your specific situation, the adoption process can trigger a number of strong emotions because you are, in a sense, “losing” a child. When it comes to your emotions, it doesn’t necessarily matter whether the pregnancy was unplanned or you are excited to place your baby with a loving adopted family. The intense emotions you experience may surprise you.

In this blog, we list six of the common emotions birth mothers may feel during this transitional period.

1. Shock

In cases of unplanned pregnancy, it’s common for women to fall into a state of shock when they first receive the news. While you’re in shock, you may have trouble processing the details of your situation or accepting the difficult decision you now have to make.

When the initial shock passes, you may feel a strong wave of complex emotions that can be overwhelming. In some cases, this rush of emotions may be so overpowering that women experience denial.

When you’re in shock or denial, you may spend a lot of time thinking along the lines of “this can’t be happening” or “this isn’t my life.” During this period, it’s important to reach out to people who care about you, can anchor you to the realness of the situation, and support you in your upcoming decisions.

2. Anxiety or Uncertainty

As a birth mother, you have numerous decisions to make. You not only must decide whether or not to proceed with adoption in the first place but also may need to choose an adoptive family, decide on a closed or open adoption, and make many other smaller decisions.

It’s normal to want to do what’s best for you and for your baby yet struggle with your decisions. Some birth mothers experience high levels of anxiety and uncertainty, which can be alleviated with the help of an expert adoption representative’s help.

3. Guilt

Unplanned pregnancy can produce guilt or shame for some women. These feelings are particularly common when the woman feels a moral or societal obligation to abstain from sexual activity. If you feel guilt related to your religion or morals, seek counsel with a trusted authority figure.

Some women may also feel guilt when they begin to consider adoption because they feel obligated to raise their children themselves. If you experience this type of shame, it may help to join a support group for birth parents to discuss your feelings with other people in your situation.

4. Anger and Sadness

Many birth mothers go through the stages of grief when they give a baby up for adoption, even if they feel certain that they’re making the right decision. You may experience anger. For example, you may ask why this happened to you or feel frustrated at the decisions placed before you.

You may feel sadness at the same time or after your feelings of anger. You may wish circumstances were different.

It’s important to seek support from loved ones and a professional counselor to work through these negative emotions, especially if you have a history of anger issues or of depression.

5. Hope

For many women, the possibility of adoption represents hope. The other decisions available to you may seem unacceptable, such as with pregnancy termination, or untenable, such as with single parenthood.

When you reach out to an adoption center or attorney, you may begin to feel a sense of positivity and hope as you look to the future.

6. Relief and Acceptance

Many birth mothers come out of the adoption process feeling a sense of closure. You may feel a strong sense of relief, especially if an unplanned child posed a significant financial or social burden.

Your feelings of closure could also be as simple as a sense of acceptance knowing that you made the best decision you could.

No one can predict when closure will come. For many birth mothers, these happy, peaceful emotions begin to move to the forefront as soon as the adoption process begins. For others, the feelings may change only after they receive confirmation that their children are living happy lives in loving homes.

Giving a baby up for adoption can be emotionally rigorous, even when you know you’re doing the right thing for yourself, your child, and your child’s adoptive family. It’s important to allow yourself the time and opportunity to process your complex emotional response to this experience.

A birth-mother specialist can help you stay on top of the logistics of your baby’s adoption, regardless of which emotions come your way. Additionally, these specialists can help you find professional counseling to ensure that you find closure and peace at the end of the adoption process. Contact A Child’s Dream to start working with a specialist.

4 Tips to Manage Your Breast Milk After Giving Birth

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 13:18:01 GMT

Within a few days of your child’s birth, your breasts will fill with milk. It’s helpful for all expectant birth mothers to have a plan to cope with this aspect of post-pregnancy care.>

The following tips will help you manage your milk supply and breast discomfort.

Decide Whether You Will Nurse the Baby

You may notice a sticky, yellowish ooze dripping from your nipples during middle to late pregnancy. This substance is called colostrum, and it’s loaded with proteins, vitamins and antioxidants. Colostrum is also the first milk that your breasts will produce after the birth.

Some birth mothers choose to nurse their babies before they are officially adopted in order to give the newborns all of the benefits of the immunity-boosting colostrum. In some cases, the adoptive family may request that you nurse the baby to provide these benefits.

Only you can decide if nursing is the right decision for you. The bonding experience of breastfeeding may make it harder to relinquish the baby. It will also cause your body to think you’ll be nursing in the future, so your body will begin releasing more of the hormones that help you produce an abundant milk supply. It may take a few extra days to dry up your milk once you stop nursing.

There’s no need to feel guilty if you choose not to breastfeed. In many cases, the baby will have a hard time latching on at first, so only a small amount of colostrum actually makes it to the baby’s belly.

Understand the Sensations of Your Milk Coming In

Your body will produce only colostrum for a day or so after the birth, since the baby needs very little nutrition during that time. There won’t be any mistaking the feeling when your actual breast milk comes in, because your breasts will become very full. The breasts may become very hard and feel hot to you.

You may also notice a feeling called the “let-down” reflex. This reflex is your breasts’ way of releasing the milk from the ducts so baby can eat. It feels like a tingling sensation, and you can feel the breasts soften as milk flows to the nipples. The let-down reflex may be triggered when something touches your nipple, you hear a baby’s cry or you think about your baby.

Once let-down occurs, your breasts may leak. The pressure of the milk in your full breasts forces milk out. Some birth mothers don’t ever feel the let-down reflex before their milk dries up, since the reflex may take a few weeks to occur. The breasts will still leak, however, so be prepared with nursing pads to protect your bras and clothing from milk stains.

Have a Kit Ready for Your Discomfort

Most women will feel mild to moderate pain in their breasts when the milk arrives. If there’s no breastfeeding going on, your body will send a signal to your mammary glands to stop producing milk, but it may take seven to ten days for your milk to dry up. Meanwhile, your breasts may feel rock hard and very painful to the touch.

Have a breast-comfort kit ready for you when you get home from the hospital. Include the following items:

Supportive, non-binding bras
Breast pump
Vitamin B6 to help relieve engorgement
Sage tea or tinctures
Ibuprofen or other pain reliever (talk to your doctor first)

It’s okay to use the breast pump to express a bit of milk and ease your pain. Lactation experts recommend you only express milk for five minutes at a time from each breast. Do this several times a day for a few days, then stop completely as you produce less milk.

Use cold compresses and ice packs on the breasts, but avoid warm showers and hot packs. Heat applied to the breasts encourages let-down and may cause you to produce more milk. You doctor may prescribe medication to help dry up your milk. Ask about the side effects of this medication before accepting it.

Choose Whether or Not to Donate Milk

Some birth mothers who give their babies up for adoption ease their sadness by continuing to pump the breast milk. They donate the breast milk to mothers’ milk banks to help premature newborns and other babies receive the benefits of human milk.

You may wish to completely dry up your milk. That’s an appropriate and completely understandable thing to do.

If you do wish to donate your breast milk, be aware that pumping alone will not always guarantee a continued milk supply. However, even a few weeks’ worth of milk will be appreciated. You will also need to contact your local milk bank in advance of the birth if you want to offer your milk to other newborns. The staff will advise you on testing and other requirements you must meet to donate your milk.

The compassionate and caring staff at A Child’s Dream are ready and waiting to help birth mothers through the process of placing their newborns for adoption. Call us today with any questions or concerns you have about your pregnancy and adoption plans.

After the Adoption: Postpartum Care Tips for Birth Mothers

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:28:28 GMT

After the papers are signed and the adoption process is complete, your role as a birth mother has not yet ended. You might feel as though you need to get right back into the swing of your life, but the reality is that you are still a mom and need to recover from birth, both physically and emotionally.

Here are some postpartum care tips to help you as you start the road to recovery after birth and adoption.

Take Some Time to Rest

No matter how relatively easy or difficult their delivery experiences, all women need to take time to recover from giving birth. However, your situation is more unique than many because you chose a family for your baby. Conventional baby websites and books will advise you to “sleep when baby sleeps” or to “get help with housework as you learn to breastfeed.”

You might feel as though much postpartum advice does not apply to you, and you may feel distanced from the community of parents. However, there’s nothing wrong with owning the fact that you carried a child through pregnancy and experienced birth. You shouldn’t pretend the pregnancy and birth didn’t happen. Be sure you:

Still attend your postpartum doctor appointments. These are not for your baby but for you. Doctors want to make sure you are healing well, especially if you had a more complex birth procedure like a Caesarian section or episiotomy.
Rest. Your employer or even family members may not believe you need rest, but do whatever you can to claim it. Your body still needs to heal, and resting after birth can help you process this complex emotional time.
Arrange for help. You will still need some support after birth. Ask some friends to bring you some meals, and maybe even have a trusted family member or friend stay with you. You may enjoy having the emotional support and extra hand to help you run errands.

Feelings of loss, guilt, or relief are typical during the time immediately after adoption. Do whatever you need to as part of your recovery. Don’t allow anyone to tell you that you don’t need recovery time.

Make Provisions for Your Milk Supply

Speak with your doctor about resolving your milk supply. Biology dictates you may still lactate after birth. Your supply will peter out, but you’ll still experience some discomfort as your milk “comes in.” These tips will help as you resolve your supply:

Use cold cabbage leaves to help with swelling. Cabbage is a time-proven remedy for sore breasts during this time.
Express some milk by hand, but only until you are comfortable. Breastmilk follows a supply-demand cycle, so pumping or expressing until empty is counter-productive. But you should not be in extreme pain either. Use minimal expressing to help take the edge off until your supply goes down.
Talk to your doctor about medications. Your doctor may or may not recommend medicine to reduce supply, since medications may have unpleasant side effects. But if you are at risk for infection because of inflammation or blockage, your doctor may re-evaluate your need.
Take over-the-counter pain medication if you are very uncomfortable.
Eat foods that reduce supply. Sage tea, peppermint oil or candy, and oregano can all help reduce milk supply.

Be patient with yourself during this time. Recovery from birth and lactation can be challenging. If you need to, seek out your counselor from your adoption agency or attend birth-mom support groups in your area if the initial recovery period is too overwhelming.

Get Screened for Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is common in new moms, even moms who have not placed their baby for adoption. You can experience the symptoms of PPD regardless of whether your baby is with you. You may feel fine after birth and have several months of positive experiences only to then experience a significant dip in your mood and energy levels.

Your doctor as well as your birth and adoption counselor should be on the lookout for signs of depression, but you can recognize them in yourself as well. If you have less interest in normal hobbies, a loss of appetite, frequent episodes of intense anger or anxiety, trouble sleeping, or thoughts of self-harm, contact your physician immediately.

Find Support

Choosing adoption will change your life forever. Many women feel at peace because they know they have chosen a bright future for their child. Others have misgivings and may feel lingering loss, anxiety, or regret. Feeling either way is normal, and you should not worry about a “right” way to feel.

However, you can make a goal for your emotional health. Attending counseling sessions, participating in support groups, and making wholesome, lasting relationships with others can heal the breach you may feel directly after finalizing the adoption.

For more information about your journey after birth, contact us at A Child’s Dream. We can provide support and resources for birth mothers who choose adoption for their babies.

How Home Studies Benefit Birth Mothers

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:22:30 GMT

You’re expecting a baby and considering adoption for him or her. But you worry about your baby’s future family. What will they be like? How will they treat your baby? Will they raise your baby the same way you would?

Adoption agencies strive to find the most suitable family for your baby. Agencies determine the family’s eligibility through a thorough home study. Through a home study, licensed social workers visit the prospective family in their home. The social workers interview the family members, examine their home, and even look at their finances.

Here’s what social workers look for in a home study and how this process can benefit you.

Safety and Security

Adoption agencies want to ensure that your baby is placed in a safe home. That’s why social workers conduct a background check on all adults living in the prospective family’s home. A background check brings up any criminal records, including records of child abuse, substance abuse, and domestic violence. A criminal record can disqualify someone from adopting.

Social workers also investigate the prospective family’s house, making sure it’s a safe environment for a child. They’ll check for things like the following:

Pools are covered
Any firearms are stored
Smoke alarms work
Cleaners and poisons are locked out of reach
Window cords are out of reach

Social workers also make sure the prospective home has adequate space for the child to sleep and play.

Parenting Capabilities

Parenting is not an easy task, and adoption agencies want to make sure prospective parents are ready for the task.

Social workers will interview the parents. They may ask them about how they were raised, their personal parenting style, and how they handle stress. They may also ask about their experiences with children. If they do not currently have children, perhaps they have grown up with children, babysat others’ children, or worked in childcare.

The relationship between the prospective parents can also determine their parenting capabilities. Social workers may ask about how they solve problems or make decisions together. If the adopting parent is single, social workers will ensure they have an adequate support network of family and friends.

Many agencies train prospective parents about how to address the needs of their adopted children.

Health

Social workers want to make sure prospective adoptive parents can take care of your baby’s health needs. They will make sure the family has health coverage for themselves and the baby.

They also want to make sure that the parents have good enough health to take care of a child. The parents must have physical exams during which the doctor declares them healthy and able to care for a child. If prospective parents have serious health problems that affect life expectancy, they may not qualify to adopt.

Finances

Prospective parents will need to verify their income, their savings, and their debts. The parents don’t need to be wealthy, but they do need to prove that they have the financial means to care for a child. If they plan to adopt a child from another country, some countries require them to have a certain income level.

Social workers may also question prospective parents about their education level, their employment status, and their future employment and educational plans.

Other Factors

To further determine the family’s eligibility, social workers will also contact several friends or neighbors of the prospective parents. They’ll ask about the prospective parents’ feelings about adoption. If the prospective parents have children living in the home, the social workers will want to know how they’re going to talk to their children about adoption.

Along with determining a family’s eligibility, a home study can help social workers and adoption agencies match the right baby to the right family.

Social workers may look at factors such as:

Parents’ daily routines
Parents’ social life and support system
Parents’ religion and how they practice their religion
The surrounding neighborhood and community

Most adoption agencies allow you to express your preferences for your baby’s adopted parents. For example, you might want to make sure your baby is raised in a family that practices the same religion you do.

Adoption agencies have prospective parents write a profile describing their personalities, lifestyle, and interests. These profiles can help both you and the agency find the right parents for your baby.

Benefits of a Home Study

A home study is a huge benefit to both you as a birth mother and your baby. This comprehensive investigation helps place your baby with parents who are safe, healthy, financially stable, and prepared to care for a child. Perhaps you can’t provide the home you want for your baby at this stage in your life, but you’ll have the confidence that your baby’s adoptive family can provide the love, comfort, and stability you want for your baby.

If you are expecting a baby and want to learn more about the adoption process, contact a birth-mother specialist at A Child’s Dream.

Helping Your Kids Understand Why You’re Giving a Baby Up for Adoption

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:15:47 GMT

Choosing to give your baby up for adoption can be one of the most complex and selfless decisions that you make in your life. When most people imagine birth mothers, they may envision teen girls who are experience first-time pregnancies, but many birth mothers who choose the adoption route already have well-established families of their own.

The number of reasons that birth mothers have for choosing adoption are varied. Whatever your reasons, your children will inevitably need to know about your pregnancy and choice to have the baby adopted. They may then have a million questions and concerns. Follow these tips to best help your kids understand why you are choosing this path for your little one.

Be Comfortably Honest

It’s important to be honest with your children about the adoption to avoid confusion and hurt feelings later. However, you should share information about the complex topic of adoption with them in a way that allows you and your kids to be comfortable with the situation. You may choose to focus on how wonderful it is for couples who can’t have kids to adopt a baby.

Most children will be able to relate to the idea of selflessly giving up your baby so that the little one can be with a childless couple who want to be parents. Let your kids know why you are placing the baby for adoption while you are still pregnant, rather than waiting until the baby is born. If children realize you were hiding a pregnancy, that can cause them to feel betrayed.

If in doubt on what’s age-appropriate for your child, you may want to discuss the situation with their pediatrician or a counselor. Otherwise, err on the side of caution and let kids lead the way with their questions. You may find that kids of all ages will pepper you with questions about the baby and what you are experiencing in the adoption process.

Ask Your Kids Open-Ended Questions

Choosing adoption when you already have kids can be a great thing for all involved. However, it can be hard for older kids to really grasp the concept of adoption at first. The best way to comfort them if they’re afraid or to make sure they don’t believe myths about option is to ask open-ended questions. The better you understand your kids, the better you can parent them.

Open-ended questions can give you a glimpse into your kids’ minds and enlighten you about how they are feeling. Some open-ended questions can let you better understand how your kids perceive the whole thing, and they can even help you identify confusion your child may be experiencing.

Some questions you may want to ask include:

Are any of your friends adopted?
What do you think about the fact that the baby will be adopted?
What do you like best about the idea?
What do you like least about the idea?
Why do you think the baby is being placed for adoption?
What would you like the baby to know?
Can you talk about any questions you may be afraid to ask?
Do you think about the situation a lot?
What has changed for you since learning about the adoption?

When you ask these open-ended questions, be sure to have follow-up questions prepared, too. Of course, it’s impossible predict where a child’s imagination may lead them or how they may respond to some questions. However, it’s still good to have follow-up questions for the ones that you may find most difficult to ask. That way, you aren’t caught off-guard at a tough moment.

Expose Your Children to Stories About Adoption

Some of the greatest kids’ books ever written were about tough topics, and adoption is often addressed in books and movies for kids. There should be no shortage in adoption movies that you can watch with your children as a springboard to discussing the topic. Some movies that deal sensitively with adoption include:

Angels in the Outfield
Elf
Paper Dream
Superman
Problem Child
The Tigger Movie
The Odd Life of Timothy Green
Choose Your Own Adventure: The Abominable Snowman

Let your kids choose adoption-themed films, too. Unfortunately, some movies are completely unrealistic or simply outdated when it comes to the modern adoption process. That can be a great opportunity for a teaching moment, though. For example, if your children watch Annie, be sure they know that your baby will go to a couple that wants the baby very much, not an orphanage.

Finally, unlike first-time birth mothers who may not understand what it takes to raise a baby, moms with children often have a far deeper understanding of the sacrifices that go into parenthood. That can provide a greater peace of mind about this selfless decision. A Child’s Dream is a licensed adoption agency that can help you find just the right adoptive family.

What You Need to Know About Open and Closed Adoptions

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:14:17 GMT

When birthparents decide to place a child up for adoption, they will often decide between an open or closed adoption. After they decide, an adoption agency will typically provide the birthparents with biographies of potential adoptive parents.

In the past, most birthparents in the United States have opted for closed adoptions. However, more birthparents in this country nowadays are opting for open adoptions. Despite these national trends, you will need to decide what type of adoption is best for you.

Here are some things to consider as you decide between an open or closed adoption. Open Adoptions

An open adoption is an adoption that allows the adoptive parents to stay in touch with the birthparents.

Most open adoptions allow the adoptive parents to access the following information about the birthparents:

First and last name
Address
Phone number
Personal email

In open adoptions, the adoptive parents may use this information to contact the birthparents before or after the adoption takes place.

Some birthmothers become friends with the adoptive parents during the pregnancy. In these situations, birthmothers often carry on relationships with adoptive parents through regular contact. Other birthparents choose to only contact the child and parents for events like birthdays or holidays.

While these are some common scenarios of open adoptions, they are not the only options for open adoptions. Every adoption is unique. As a birthparent, you can decide what level of contact you want with the adoptive parents and your child.

Birthparents may choose an open adoption so that adoptive parents are able to fully answer any questions the child may have about his or her birthparents. Birthparents may also choose an open adoption so they can have the option to see the child in the future.

Often, open adoptions can help a child better come to terms with his or her adoption because of the available information.

Some birthparents and adoptive parents choose a semi-open adoption. Often, this adoption type involves a very limited number of visits between the birthparents and the child. Adoptive parents and birthparents may also allow annual letters or exchanged pictures. Both adoptive and birthparents who choose a semi-open adoption should always specify what terms the adoption involves to avoid issues in the future.

Closed Adoptions

In certain cases, a closed adoption may be a more appropriate option. Closed adoptions almost entirely restrict contact between birthparents and the adoptive parents of a child.

When birthparents choose a closed adoption, the files related to the adoption are often physically sealed. Even if the birthparents and adoptive parents meet each other during the adoption process, the parties will not stay in touch afterwards. In closed adoptions, the adopted child typically won’t have any knowledge about his or her parents, especially while the child is a minor.

Sometimes adoptive parents can receive medical records of the birthparents in closed adoptions. However, they rarely receive any further information.

Keep in mind that some birthparents may choose to change the adoption type over time. A birthparent may decide to limit contact after choosing an open adoption. Other birthparents may even allow an open adoption after formerly choosing a closed adoption.

States usually have different rules and processes about opening a closed adoption. In fact, most states require a court order to change an adoption. If you decide to change the type of adoption you want, always consult the other party first. Clear communication is important to create a cooperative, successful adoption.

Consult an adoption agency as you consider the best option for your circumstances. The professionals at your agency can answer any questions and help you through the adoption process.

Finding Support: Resources for Birth Mothers Choosing Adoption

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:11:24 GMT

When you choose adoption for your baby, you make a brave but emotional decision. As a mother, you are doing everything you can to provide a happy, healthy future for your son or daughter. You need support to help work through the questions and feelings accompanying childbirth and adoption.

When you choose adoptive parents for your baby, you make plans for his or her future. When you seek support for yourself, you take care of your own future. Both are an important part of successful adoption. Here are some resources you should consider to help secure your own physical and emotional health.

Physical Care

Like any other pregnant woman, you will need medical care and pregnancy monitoring. Your doctor or midwife is your resource for any questions you have about pregnancy and birth. Don’t feel like you aren’t entitled to ask questions about your own prenatal and postnatal care routines.

If you have feeling of depression during or after pregnancy, your doctor will also help you know whether you need to consider medication.

Family and Friends

If you have family who are supportive of choosing adoption, choose one or two members to come with you to your doctor’s appointments and to meet with adoption agency specialists. Family members (or close friends) can have a grounding influence during interviews, paperwork, or medical tests.

If you are traveling the adoption road alone but would like to have somebody to lean on, talk to your agency. You might be able to hire a doula to advocate for you during pregnancy, or the agency could provide addition support so you always have someone you can call for help if you need it.

Counseling

Counseling can work wonders for birth moms. It’s not uncommon for women to feel a sense of loss, guilt, or depression during this time. While these feelings are common, they don’t have to become your new normal.

A professional counselor can provide you with several strategies for dealing with negative feelings during pregnancy and after the adoption. Some of these include:

Positive affirmations. Instead of focusing on the mistakes you have made in the past, your counselor can help you master positive thinking, including positive thoughts about yourself and your future.
Forming your own identity. Sometimes it can feel like choosing adoption for your baby will define you for the rest of your life. However, being a birth mom is not your only identity. Your counselor can help you discover and pursue the goals you want for yourself. Self discovery is important for recovery.
Following through with decisions to help your progression. You might want to go to school, travel, or build a meaningful relationship. These goals might seem far away, but your counselor can help you make a detailed plan of action and help you implement it.
Forgiveness. Sometimes, the situation surrounding the birth of your baby is what necessitates adoption. Anger toward those who share responsibility for the birth and adoption of your baby is common. Your counselor can provide methods of helping you move past anger toward others and toward yourself.
Grief therapy. Many mothers, even though they know adoption was absolutely the right decision for themselves and for their babies, experience grief. Expressing your grief in a healthful way is essential to healing and further psychological development.

These are only a few ways counseling can help. Talk to your adoption agency about counseling options, as it can be so crucial for the support of new birth parents.

Community Support Groups

Some things can only be learned by experience. You may feel like nobody knows how it feels to choose adoption. Other birth mothers, however, have been where you are. Many attend support groups for months or even years following the birth of their babies.

The main benefit is that you can voice feelings with confidence, knowing they will be understood. Moms attending support groups are less likely to pass judgement on your choice, so you can speak comfortably about your past.

Finally, those who have begun healing can be an example of progression. As you hear the experiences of other birth moms, you can feel more secure in the choice you made for your baby’s future, as many women feel doubt. During pregnancy, hearing the experiences of others can also help you know if you want an open or closed adoption.

Some communities also offer organizations designed to help birth moms get back on their feet with grants, education resources, and life coaching.

Retreats

There are some non-profit organizations that offer retreats for birth mothers. You’ll meet women from all walks of life who have been where you are. Here you can engage in planned activities and group discussions, and you can create lifelong friendships.

Some of the women you meet will be useful contacts later when you are having a rough day or facing a visit or reunion with your baby.

For more information on support for birth mothers, contact us at A Child’s Dream .

Vacation Activities to Avoid While Pregnant

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:11:07 GMT

When you’re pregnant, you’re protecting not only your own health but also the health of your growing baby. You know how important it is to avoid harmful activities like smoking and drinking, and you try not to eat too much junk food.

Just as it’s important to protect your growing baby while you’re at home, it’s also important to protect your baby when you’re on vacation. You don’t want to forget about your baby’s health just because you’re outside your daily routine. Here are a few vacation activities you’ll need to avoid while you’re pregnant.

1. Riding Amusement Park Rides

Amusement park rides may seem harmless, but they can put a lot of stress on your growing baby. The sudden movements on a ride can cause placental abruption.

Placental abruption is when the placenta separates from the uterine wall. If you experience this condition, you may experience dangerous bleeding. Also, your baby may lose out on needed nutrients and oxygen, which can cause growth problems and birth complications.

2. Going Horseback Riding

A vacation might seem like the perfect time to take a galloping horse ride across the beach or an open field. However, horseback riding isn’t a good idea for pregnant women. Horseback riding puts you at risk of falling, which could cause severe problems for your baby and could even cause miscarriage.

3. Sitting in Hot Tubs

Relaxing in a hot tub might seem like a good way to ease pregnancy back pain. However, hot tubs can raise your body temperature—and increased body temperature can increase the risk of birth defects.

Plus, pregnant women are more likely to feel dizzy or pass out while in a hot tub than women who are not pregant.

4. Going on a Cruise

Going on a cruise may seem harmless, but it might be unsafe for pregnant women. If morning sickness has been a problem for you, the constant movement of the ship could make that illness much worse. Plus, be aware that a cruise ship likely won’t have the same level of medical care that you’d get on land.

Many cruise lines don’t allow pregnant women on board. Other cruise lines allow pregnant women who are at the beginning of their pregnancies. However, a woman in this situation often must bring a note from their doctor saying she is healthy enough to ride.

5. Trying Exotic Foods

If you’re visiting an exotic locale, you may want to try some new foods for the first time. But it’s best to avoid this while pregnant. You don’t know how your body will react to the new foods, and any food-related illness can be dangerous for your baby.

Be aware that some exotic foods and drinks might be likely to harbor harmful organisms. This includes undercooked meat, unpasteurized milk, and drinks that contain unclean tap water. Let your doctor know where you’re traveling and ask his or her advice on what you should eat and drink.

6. Getting a Gel Manicure

Vacation time might seem like a great time to treat yourself to a manicure. But be careful: gel polishes contain toxic chemicals that could harm your baby.

If you do get a manicure, avoid polish that contains toluene, formaldehyde, and DBP. Also avoid the UV lamp dryer, which could encourage the formation of cancerous cells.

7. Scuba Diving

Have you always wanted to try scuba diving? If you’re pregnant, you should wait for another time.

Scuba diving can cause nitrogen bubbles to form in your baby’s blood. Your baby’s body does not yet have the ability to filter the nitrogen. As a result, he or she could experience problems in his or her brain, spine, and vital organs. There’s even some evidence that scuba diving might cause miscarriage.

8. Biking

Outdoors enthusiasts might use their vacation as a time to go on long bike rides across new terrain. But you should be cautious about biking if you’re in your second or third trimester.

Because of your new baby bump and your subsequent change in body shape, your center of gravity changes while you’re pregnant. This might affect your balance and cause you to fall—and falling on a bike can be dangerous while you’re pregnant.

9. Using a Tanning Bed

It’s natural to want to look attractive while at the beach, but tanning beds are harmful for you and your baby. Tanning beds can increase your risk of melanoma. Unfortunately, melanoma can spread to your placenta and harm your baby.

Tanning beds also carry the same problem as hot tubs: they can raise your body temperature, an effect that can endanger your growing baby.

Although there are some things you can’t do on vacation while pregnant, there are many things you can do. You can still tour different locations, swim, eat out, and create memories.

As you head out on vacation, remember these tips so you can protect you and your baby’s health. Keep reading the blog at A Child’s Dream for more pregnancy health tips.

Envisioning Your Future: Empowering Life-Improvement Tips for Birth Mothers

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:05:06 GMT

One of the reasons birth parents choose adoption is to provide their babies a promising future with many opportunities for love and success. Many birth mothers are not currently in the position to build a family in the way they hope to. It’s a courageous decision to give your child a loving family for the rest of his or her life.

However, there is another future that is just as important: your own. Your pregnancy can be a time to make plans, set goals, and make decisions to reach your highest potential in the future. Here are some simple things you can do during your pregnancy to give yourself the best possible future.

Stay Active

Staying active and healthy as much as possible during your pregnancy can really help to ensure your future health. Generally, women who maintain their activity levels during pregnancy have less aches and pains, reduced weight gain, and easier deliveries. The reduced impact on your body can help you as you meet the challenge of finalizing the adoption.

Staying active during pregnancy can also help to reduce your risk for developing postpartum depression. Since depression can hinder your recovery from pregnancy and reduce your self-efficacy, making exercise a priority is worth the trouble, even on the days when you just don’t feel like it.

Some women have trouble with joint pain and discomfort during pregnancy. You might try prenatal yoga, swimming, or walking as your exercise if you find higher intensity exercises to be too challenging or difficult with a growing belly.

Write Down Your Vision for Yourself

Visualizing your goals is an important step of planning how to get there. During your pregnancy, take time to sit and actually write the ideal future you’d like to see for yourself. Write the ideal future you’d like to see for your baby. Then, you can work backwards from this vision to see what it might take to get there.

For example, if you’d like to graduate from college, you can document the obstacles that are standing in your way: finances, relationships, or prerequisites. Once you have a concrete idea of the things you need to overcome, you can create a plan for how to get past each hurdle.

You can gain clarity from this exercise to illuminate the path ahead. Some mothers also find this comforting, as it helps to provide perspective surrounding the difficult choice to choose adoption for your baby.

Choose Achievable Goals

Once you know your obstacles, you can start small. Fold up your vision for yourself, and work on what you can work on at the moment. For example, your first task might be to graduate from high school or pass a difficult class in college. Some mothers might want to get a part-time job to save money for community college.

Your goals can be even more specific. You might, for instance, want to travel one day. An obstacle to keep you from traveling might be living paycheck to paycheck. You might start using a budgeting software to help you track your expenses. You might look at night classes so you can earn a higher wage.

Planning achievable goals and meeting them while you prepare for adoption is one of the best things you can do to boost your confidence in the choices you make for yourself

Use Positive Affirmations

Positive affirmations can help you prepare for birth and recovery. These are statements you write yourself to feel more empowered about your body, your baby, and your choices as a mother. Examples of affirmations you can repeat to yourself are:

I am in control of my own life.
My body is wise and knows how to give birth.
My body is good and physical changes are natural.
I’m not afraid to choose what is best for my baby.
I can adapt to changes in my circumstances.
Even when things don’t go perfectly, I am still able to choose what is best for me.
I am making the right decision for my baby.

Because so many women experience feelings of anxiety, fear, and discomfort during pregnancy, negativity can overwhelm your self-confidence. Positive affirmations offset those fearful thoughts as your remind yourself that you are able to make good choices for yourself and for your baby. Empowerment can help you choose the right adoptive family.

Seek Counseling

Even though personal goals and preparation are essential for birth mothers, there is only so much you can do alone. Pregnancy counseling can help you deal with feelings of shame, loss, grief, and anger in a healthy way. Talking to a professional before and after placing your baby can really safeguard your mental health.

Bring your affirmations and goals to your counseling appointments. Having an “end game” can help your counselor know the direction to take with your sessions.

For more questions about how you can plan for your future and meet the goals you want for your own life, contact A Child’s Dream.

Top Pregnancy Health Tips For You And Your Baby

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 06:04:40 GMT

If this pregnancy is your first, you probably feel a wide range of emotions. You might feel excited, nervous, and afraid all at the same time. You recognize that maintaining good health is extremely important—not just for you, but for your baby as well.

The following important health tips are a good place to start.

1. Set an Appointment With a Medical Professional

As soon as you find out you’re pregnant, set an appointment with a medical professional in your area. The medical professional will want to see you for the first time about eight weeks after you become pregnant.

You can expect an appointment schedule like the following one:

Monthly visits until 28 weeks pregnant
Twice monthly visits until 36 weeks pregnant
Weekly visits from 36 weeks until birth

Most women see an obstetrician, or OB. An obstetrician has attended medical school and received training in caring for mothers and babies. Alternatively, some women choose to see a certified nurse midwife. A certified nurse midwife is a registered nurse who has earned an additional degree in midwifery.

Your OB or midwife can help prepare you for the different stages of pregnancy and can treat any health problems that may arise. He or she will watch over you during your pregnancy to protect the health of both you and your baby.

2. Take Prenatal Vitamins

Now, more than ever, you and your baby need the nutrients vitamins provides. Prenatal vitamins are specifically formulated to provide women and babies with the nutrients needed during pregnancy.

Some of the most important nutrients during pregnancy are folic acid, iron, and calcium. Folic acid prevents developmental problems in the baby’s brain and spinal cord. Iron is crucial for blood health, and calcium is important for bone health. Seek your doctor’s advice about choosing the right prenatal vitamin.

3. Eat a Nutritious Diet

Before you were pregnant, you might have gotten away with a diet of soda and fast food. However, now you and your baby both need nutrients found in foods like:

Vegetables
Fruits
Whole grains
Beans
Lean meat

Avoid foods that may contain harmful bacteria. These foods include raw and undercooked meat like sushi and steak, processed meat like hot dogs and lunch meat, and soft cheeses like feta cheese.

You should also cut back on caffeine, which is found in coffee and soda. Caffeine increases your heart rate and blood pressure, which can be dangerous during pregnancy. It can also affect your baby’s movement and sleep pattern.

4. Avoid Alcohol and Drugs

Remember that everything you take in can now affect your baby as well. Alcohol and drugs can cause birth defects and other serious health problems in growing babies. Many babies exposed to alcohol and drugs grow up with behavioral, memory, and concentration problems.

If you struggle to give up alcohol and drugs, talk with a doctor or counselor. He or she can help you take steps to overcome your addiction.

5. Exercise Safely

Exercise can help you maintain good health during pregnancy and can even prepare your body to give birth. It might also reduce common pregnancy symptoms like backaches and low energy.

Keep in mind that pregnancy is not the time to start an intensive weight loss program. Avoid high-impact exercises that pose the risk of falling, getting injured, or getting overheated. Walking, yoga, and swimming are all good fitness choices during pregnancy.

6. Seek Knowledge

The more you know about pregnancy and childbirth, the more prepared you’ll be. Along with asking your doctor questions, you can also find helpful information about pregnancy in books such as:

What to Expect When You’re Expecting by Heidi Murkoff
Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth

You could also join a pregnancy class or support group, which is often offered by medical professionals.

7. Schedule Counseling

Along with your physical health, you need to protect your mental and emotional health as well. Pregnancy can be hard on women because the hormone levels in their bodies are changing. They are also coping with a completely new scenario and all the difficult decisions and changes that come with it.

Pregnancy can be especially difficult if it comes unexpectedly. Perhaps you’re considering whether or not to keep your baby. To help you during this time, seek the help of a counselor. A counselor can help you cope with your emotions and struggles. A licensed adoption agency may even offer free counseling.

This experience is a new and exciting time for you, but it can also be a difficult time. Some women experience health problems during pregnancy that they didn’t expect. Following basic health guidelines may not prevent every complication, but it does significantly reduce the risk of health problems.

Follow these health tips to protect both you and your baby during your pregnancy.

Preparing for (and Dealing With) Questions About Your Adoption Decision

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 05:59:38 GMT

Choosing to provide your infant with a loving adoptive family rather than raising him or her on your own can be an incredibly tough decision for any parent, regardless of your age, income, life experience, or family support.

This process can often be made tougher by the barrage of questions levied at expectant mothers by well-meaning friends, family members, and acquaintances; once your circle learns you’re planning for an adoption, you may find the intensity and intrusiveness of these questions ramps up considerably.

Read on for some of the questions you may be able to expect from those who have just learned you’re planning to give up your child for adoption, as well as some lighthearted and discreet responses you can have at the ready.

Why?

This simple question is often the most loaded one, especially when it comes from parents, grandparents, or other family members who may feel as though they have some vested interest in your decision.

How to Respond

The circumstances of your adoption may be highly personal; if so, you’re under no obligation to share. Ultimately, you’ve chosen adoption for the same reason as so many others: to provide your child with his or her best opportunity for a happy, healthy life.

You may also want to avoid engaging with anyone who asks this question but is clearly not interested in the answer, instead using this question as a launching point for an argument or rant. You certainly don’t want to find yourself dragged into a back-and-forth debate on the wisdom of your decision with someone who hasn’t walked even a step in your shoes.

Aren’t You Worried You’ll Regret It?

Although this question can come off as insensitive and even offensive, it’s often not meant that way; the person asking may be doing so out of genuine concern that you’re being pressured into this decision or you haven’t fully thought it through. Keeping this in mind when you respond can help you avoid being curt or rude in return.

How to Respond

The detail of your response is likely to depend upon your relationship with the person asking. If you receive this type of comment from a distant relative or casual acquaintance, it’s fine to simply say, “No, I’m not” (or “no, I won’t regret it”).

On the other hand, for close friends and family members, you may feel comfortable going into a bit more detail on the factors you considered when coming to your decision. Knowing that you’ve thought through all the possible outcomes before deciding this is the best path for your child can help put worried hearts and minds at ease.

You may also want to consider including a request for support in your response. Saying something like, “I know this decision is a lot to take in, but I’ve thought about it for quite some time and am sure I’m making the right choice. I’d really love your support in this,” can put the asker in a position to help rather than judge.

What Will Your Other Kids Think?

Not all birth mothers are first-time parents; in many cases, a child placed for adoption will already have one or more older siblings. Because of this, there already exists a wide variety of books, television programs, and other types of media designed to help older children understand and cope with this situation.

How to Respond

Again, your response to this type of intrusive question will depend largely upon your relationship with the person asking. Any answer that focuses on your desire to provide the absolute best outcome for your family (including your children) should be enough to quiet even the nosiest acquaintances.

For those who might be trusted with a bit more information, you can go into some detail on the specifics of your adoption as it relates to your older children: for example, if you’re planning an open adoption, you may indicate that your children are excited to see their sibling on a regular basis, even if you don’t all live in the same home.

Is It Because…

This question can have a nearly endless number of possible endings, nearly all of them intrusive. Whether you’re being asked if your baby has special needs, if you’re aware of who the father is, or if you’re unable to afford a child, you’re likely dealing with someone who isn’t adept at exercising good social boundaries.

How to Respond

Unless you’re eager to explain your position or are dealing with a very close friend or relative, this is one of the questions where a simple “No” or “That’s an awfully personal question, isn’t it?” is the best response.

Although dealing with these questions (and the subtext behind each of them) can be exhausting for any new mother, having a few prepared responses can make life much easier.

Breaking the News: Tips for Telling People You’re Unexpectedly Pregnant

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 05:57:07 GMT

For women who want to get pregnant, pregnancy announcements are happy and exciting. But what about women who got pregnant unexpectedly and aren’t sure what to do now?

If you find yourself in this situation, you probably worry about how to tell the people around you your big news. You worry about how they might react and how your pregnancy might affect your relationship with them.

Follow these tips to make telling your loved ones a positive experience.

Telling Your Significant Other

The first person you should tell is your significant other, if applicable. While you may need a little time to process your emotions first, you should tell them as soon as possible. Keeping the subject secret can cause misunderstanding and conflict.

Wait for a good time to talk when you’re both at a low stress level. For example—don’t break the news right when your significant other gets home and before they’ve had some time to unwind.

Ask your significant other if you can sit down and talk so they know the situation is serious. Remove distractions by turning off the TV and putting your phones away.

Finding out you’re going to have a child is life-changing news, and it’s hard to predict how your significant other may react. Let them know that the two of you don’t need to make any official decisions just yet while you’re still processing the news.

Telling Your Family

Breaking the news to your family can be extremely difficult. In many cases, parents are protective, and hopefully they want what’s best for you. They might have a vision in their mind of how your life is going to go, and your pregnancy might not fit into their plans.

It’s a good idea to write down what you want to say before you meet with your family. This can help you process your emotions and can prepare you for the conversation.

How you conduct the conversation is up to you. Perhaps you want to meet privately with your parents and let them talk to your siblings later. Maybe you and your significant other want to sit down and talk to the whole family together. Choose the format that makes you most comfortable, and let your family know beforehand that you have something important to tell them.

When to tell your family is up to you as well. Some people wait until they’re pregnant for 10 to 12 weeks to share the news because the risk of miscarriage drops at that point in the pregnancy. However, you may want to tell your family sooner in order to receive their support as soon as possible.

Telling Your Boss

Telling your boss can be particularly tricky because your pregnancy may affect your work. If you work with hazardous materials, you should let your boss know right away so he or she can adjust your responsibilities. It’s also important to have a conversation with your boss if you’re experiencing morning sickness or other conditions that affect your ability to work.

If these situations don’t apply, you can wait to tell your boss until you’ve been pregnant for three months or so. Share the news in a private meeting with your boss. Remember, pregnancy is a fact of life, and there’s no need to apologize to your boss for being pregnant. Just be straightforward and direct while you share the news. Your boss will appreciate your honesty.

Hopefully, your company will allow you to take time off for maternity leave. Even if you plan to have your child adopted, you’ll still need some time to recover after childbirth. You may not know all your plans right away, and you’re not obligated to say what they are. Just tell your boss that you’ll let him or her know as soon as you decide.

Telling Your Friends

When people are excited about their pregnancy, they often create a pregnancy announcement to share through mail, email, or social media. You can do the same if you feel comfortable doing so, or you could simply tell your friends in person.

Even if you weren’t planning to have a baby at this point in your life, it’s still an exciting occasion and an opportunity to celebrate a new life. You can acknowledge the hard points of the situation while still being hopeful about the future.

Some of your friends may judge you or decide not to stay friends with you, and that can be difficult. True friends stand by you in both good times and bad. Your closest friends can be a source of support and comfort during this time.

Telling your friends and family you’re pregnant can be very difficult. Follow these tips to make the process easier.

If you are considering adoption and need support during your pregnancy, contact a birth-mother specialist at A Child’s Dream. We offer counseling and medical and housing assistance for expectant mothers.

Dealing With Intrusive Comments and Unwanted Advice: 5 Tips for Birth Mothers

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 05:56:06 GMT

Choosing whether to place your baby for adoption is one of the most important and personal decisions you’ll make. Placing your baby for adoption can be empowering, but the choice is no doubt a difficult one. Choosing to give your baby the best life possible, whatever you determine that means, is a selfless and beautiful path to take, but not everyone will understand your decision. Keep these tips in mind when you are faced with unsolicited advice or rude comments.

Tip #1: Gracefully Refuse to Engage in Unsolicited Discussion

You may see red flags if people are dying to tell you that you should make a different decision about your baby. Some people will look for any opportunity to get their two cents in. Walk away when possible. If you engage with a conversation, the other person may think that your decision is up for discussion. If you don’t want to discuss your decision, then you don’t have to.

You don’t have to be rude in your refusal to disengage from conversations that don’t suit your needs. You may simply state that the decision has been made and is not up for discussion right now. If the person does not accept your insistence that the matter isn’t up for discussion, excuse yourself politely.

Tip #2: Prevent Unwanted Advice in One Area by Asking for Guidance in Others

If you know that someone you see regularly just can’t wait to offer advice on any and all topics, you may satisfy that person’s need to give advice by asking for it on topics that won’t feel too personal for you. For example, you may ask the person to weigh in on the most inspirational film that he or she has seen that season or ask about ways to prevent sunburn without sunscreen.

Let your imagination go wild and be sincere when you ask for this advice. You may want to ask about how to keep your skin healthy during pregnancy if the person loves skin care. When you ask for advice in areas of your life that you like discussing, you can more easily convey that you care about the other person’s opinion even as you set boundaries with what topics you agree to discuss.

Tip #3: Change the Topic of Conversation to One That Suits You

The ability to change the conversation in the direction of your preference is a skill that will serve you well throughout your life. This skill is especially helpful when people are trying to offer unwanted advice about your pregnancy.

You can simply restate your decision and then change the subject. For example, if you’re enjoying an Italian meal with the person, you may try saying, “The decision has been made. How about that delicious pasta sauce? What spices do you think were used in it?”

Your next question after reaffirming your choice could be about any light topic. Being firm in your stance and then introducing a more enjoyable topic of conversation can protect you while giving the other person a way out of facing the awkwardness of their advice.

Tip #4: Restate the Rude Comment Directly to the Person

You may simply restate what was just said word for word. Don’t add your own commentary at first. Simply repeat the comment exactly as it was stated. Sometimes, when people hear their rude words repeated back to them, they will be mortified that they said something so awful.

For example, if someone asks, “Don’t you love your child?” and insinuates that either placing your baby for adoption or not doing so shows a lack of caring, you can repeat the statement. By replying, “Do I love my child?” as though you don’t understand why someone would ask such a question can show the asker how you feel about the issue and the question.

The person who offered offensive advice or said something rude to you may be immediately apologetic when your repetition reveals how awful the comment was. If you don’t feel comfortable repeating the statement word for word, you may try paraphrasing what was said. Follow that up by asking the person whether he or she really meant to say such a thing

Tip #5: Be Frank With Relatives and Close Friends

With people such as co-workers, professional associates, and perhaps even strangers, you can often handle intrusion with methods that don’t address the core issue. For example, you can change the subject. However, it’s best to be frank with those who are close to you. It’s only natural that your family and close circle of friends will want to discuss your situation with you at length. Expect that, and let your loved ones know what you are and aren’t comfortable with.

What you don’t have to expect is any lack of respect for your choice. Once you make your decision, your friends and family members should support you as you walk the path you choose. And once someone you love has had their say, you don’t have to tolerate its repetition. Be frank and firm with your loved ones and assert that your decision should be accepted without further argument.

Finally, keep in mind that it’s important to be true to yourself. While it’s okay to change your mind at any point in the process, you should never have to give in to pressure from others. Free counseling and further assistance is available from A Child’s Dream, a licensed adoption agency with a warm, caring staff that is there to help you every step of the way.

Adoption Myths That Birthmothers Should Be Aware Of

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 05:36:19 GMT

If you’re considering choosing adoption for your baby, there are a lot of unknown variables that can make the experience seem especially challenging. Many birth mothers might feel shame, fear, or guilt over the decision.

However, there are a lot of myths surrounding how you might feel, what experiences you might have, and what future your baby will have. Knowing these myths and arming yourself with facts and reason can help prepare you for the adoption process.

Connection

Myth: After adoption, you’ll have no connection to your child’s life.

As a birth mother, you have the power to make decisions about your child’s future. It’s up to you to decide what kind of connection you want to have with your child in the future.

Some mothers choose closed adoptions with the desire to have no further contact. Some choose this option because they feel it will be too emotionally complex to stay involved. Other desire to allow their baby to fully integrate into the adoptive family.

Open adoptions, on the other hand, allow for greater contact. You could request occasional visits, permission to write letters, or contact after your child has reached a certain age. When you meet with prospective parents, you can discuss your desires to be more involved. Some adoptive families are very open to further contact in the future.

Equality

Myth: My child will not be loved the same way as a biological child.

Many adoptive families seek to bring new children into their home because they feel they have more to offer to children in need. They usually have the time, resources, and temperaments to love and accept children from all backgrounds.

If you’re concerned about your child feeling less loved than other children in the home, look for families who have other adopted children or couples who do not yet have a child. Some families save and prepare for years to adopt, and they will give your child every advantage of familial love and opportunity.

Matching

Myth: It’ll be hard to find the right parents for my baby.

With the help of an advocate, you can find suitable parents. You don’t have to worry about parents adopting a child for the wrong reason. In the past, children were adopted to help on farms or in other industries, but that history does not reflect adoption today.

Every couple who seeks adoption through an agency like A Child’s Dream goes through extensive background checks. You can choose adoptive families who share your religion and ethnic background. You can even choose families who support hobbies and activities you would like your child to access.

Regret

Myth: If I choose adoption, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

While it is true that adoption will be a time of emotional difficulty, it does not have to be a time of regret that will plague you for the rest of your life. Birth mothers should rely on the mental health counseling available through their adoption agency, and rely on the support of family, friends, and adoption advocates.

Some adoptive families will actually help with this challenge by providing funds for birth mothers to receive counseling.

While every situation is different, birth mothers can experience many benefits from choosing adoption, including:

Increased chances of finishing high school or university. In fact, only 40 percent of girls who become pregnant in high school graduate with a diploma, and less than 2 percent finish college before the age of 30.
Improved financial security. Supporting a baby on a single-parent income is a challenge, especially if you have little family support.
Future stability in romantic relationships. Dating and marriage are inherently more complicated with a baby.

Birth mothers can combat feelings of regret by recognizing that choosing adoption plans for the future of not only their babies, but also themselves. Security comes from the knowledge that you made a good choice for you and for your child.

Consequence

Myth: My child will resent me for choosing adoption.

It’s natural to fear that your child will feel abandoned. However, you can rest assured that you chose the best possible future for your baby. If you are worried about your child growing up bitter or anger, express your fears to your chosen adoptive family. Ask them questions like:

How will you help my child to feel included in your family?
What strategies will you use to help the child understand adoption?
If my child feels angry about being adopted, how will you handle it?
How will you respond if the child has low self-esteem because he or she is adopted?

A nurturing environment and access to mental health services can help adopted children understand adoption. Choose families that are willing to have open and honest discussions with your child about who they are and why they are part of an adoptive family.

For more information on your concerns as a birth mother, contact us at A Child’s Dream.

A Guide to 3 Common Prenatal Screening Tests for First-Time Birth Mothers

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 05:29:21 GMT

A healthy pregnancy that is safe for both the mother and the baby is the primary concern when it comes to prenatal medical care. There are numerous regular appointments to attend for general check-ups on both mother and baby’s health, as well as several screening tests.

As a first-time mother who is placing her baby up for adoption, you may be feeling a bit confused and apprehensive about the screening tests. They may sound very technical and even little daunting if you’re not familiar with the terms used and why they’re part of quality prenatal medical care.

Learning about the screening tests and why they’re an important part of prenatal care may help you to feel more confident and comfortable with them. Here are three screening tests that are commonly included in pregnancy health care.

1. Ultrasounds

Ultrasounds are the most common and most frequently performed screening tests you’ll undergo during your pregnancy. They are a safe and effective way for your health care provider to check that your baby is developing properly. Ultrasounds are also used to check maternal health, particularly in regards to the location of the placenta in the womb.

Generally, you can expect to have two ultrasounds during your pregnancy. The first is performed during the first trimester and provides you with an accurate due date as well as monitoring of the health of the baby.

The second one is at around 18 weeks’ gestation and is a more extensive screening where your healthcare provider will check that your baby has no problems with their organs or muscular-skeletal system. In most regular pregnancies with no health concerns, there is generally no need for any further ultrasounds.

2. CVS and Amniocentesis

CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) and amniocentesis are diagnostic tests which can determine whether a baby has any genetic or chromosomal disorders. A well-known example of this type of disorder is Down’s Syndrome. They are also the only way to know for certain the sex of your baby.

CVS is performed by taking cells from the placenta at around 10 to 12 weeks’ gestation. Amniocentesis is performed at around 15 weeks’ gestation and involves removing a small amount of amniotic fluid for testing. Both tests are a little uncomfortable but not painful and you’ll be back to your usual routine after a day of rest.

CVS and amniocentesis aren’t performed as routinely as ultrasounds because there is a slightly increased risk of miscarriage after both. However, if your blood tests have any indicators of problems or if you or the baby’s father have a family history of genetic disorders, then these tests are important to undertake.

3. Glucose Tolerance Test

A glucose tolerance test is part of the screening which detects GDM (Gestational Diabetes Mellitus). GDM is a type of diabetes that begins during pregnancy and can be harmful to both mother and baby if not detected and treated.

If you’re considered to be in a high-risk category for developing GDM, then you may be tested early in your pregnancy. Otherwise, you’ll undertake the initial screening at around 24 weeks’ gestation in the form of a non-fasting oral glucose tolerance test. This test measures your body’s ability to release insulin and convert glucose into energy.

If your first screening test is positive, then you’ll undergo a second glucose tolerance test that requires you to fast for several hours before hand. This provides more accurate glucose conversion levels and may result in a GDM diagnosis.

GDM is quite common and occurs in around 6 to 9% of all pregnancies. If it’s treated and managed correctly, it doesn’t pose any serious threats to your health or your baby’s health. Initially, GDM is managed through daily blood sugar testing, modified diet, exercise, and education. However, some women may need to use insulin to maintain a healthy blood sugar level.

Your chosen adoptive family will help you to cover all or part of the costs of these screening tests, depending on whether or you have health insurance which helps with the expense. They want you and your baby to be healthy and safe as much as you do.

Some adoptive families may even like to attend some of your screening appointments, particularly the ultrasounds, which offer you both an incredible sneak-peek at your developing child. Whether this is possible will depend on how you feel about it and whether it’s logistically viable, particularly if you and the birth family are in different states.

The helpful and supportive staff at A Child’s Dream can help you to make and attend the medical appointments and screening tests that will ensure the best outcome for you and your baby. They can also guide you on how to navigate any emotional or logistical concerns you may have about the birth family attending your appointments and screening tests.

A Brief History of Adoption

Sat, 11 Nov 2017 05:24:35 GMT

When birth parents are unable to care for their child, adoption is considered the most loving and compassionate choice. Adoptive families volunteer to bring these children into their homes. Today, 135,000 children are adopted each year in the United States.

But adoption wasn’t always as common as it is today. Over the years, new laws and practices have improved living situations for millions of children.

Adoption Through the Years

In ancient times, adoption was structured to benefit the adults more than the children. In ancient Rome, some wealthy families adopted boys to act as male heirs. In many countries, families adopted children because they needed them to contribute to the home, the farm, or the family business. Instead of entering loving families, many abandoned children became slaves and servants.

Similar adoption practices persisted throughout the centuries. You might remember that in the 1908 novel “Anne of Green Gables,” Anne is temporarily adopted by several families who need her for household labor. She watches children and does housework and farm work. Even Matthew and Marilla of Green Gables wanted to adopt a child primarily to have help on the family farm.

Despite adoption’s drawbacks, adoption benefited many children as well. If nothing else, it kept children out of orphanages. Many children were informally adopted by relatives, friends, or neighbors.

Adoption in the Early United States

The first adoption law to protect United States children was passed in Massachusetts in 1851. The law states that the adoptive parents must have consent from the child’s birth parents. It also states that adoptive parents must be capable of raising the child.

Over the years, further laws and practices came into effect to protect children. In 1909, President Theodore Roosevelt spoke at a conference about the need to place children in homes rather than orphanages. Some states passed adoption-related legislation as a result.

By the mid-1900s, almost all states passed laws that held adoptive parents and agencies to certain standards. For example, parents must go through a screening process before adopting a child. Also, the agencies must keep adoption records confidential.

In recent years, many American children have been adopted through the foster care system. This system had an interesting beginning. Noting the thousands of homeless, orphaned children on city streets, a protestant minister developed a program to send these homeless children to families in rural areas. Between 1859 and 1929, thousands of orphan children were transported to new families on what were called “Orphan Trains.”

Today, children whose parents cannot care for them are placed in foster homes and looked after by foster parents. Some of these children are able to return to their families with time, while others are adopted.

International adoption also became common in the 20th century. Improved global transportation methods made it possible to bring home a child from an impoverished or war-torn country.

Adoption Today

Today, there are many laws and practices that protect children and ensure they find a good home. About 59% of adopted children are adopted through foster care, and about 15% of adopted children are adopted as babies.

Birth parents and potential adoptive parents usually work with a lawyer or through a licensed adoption agency. The agency’s services can improve a child’s chances of being placed in a good home. The agency conducts a home study, where representatives visit the potential parents in their home and ensure it is a safe and healthy place to raise the adopted child.

Adoptive agencies can also pay attention to the birth parents’ needs and wishes. The birth parents can express preferences for the adoptive parents, such as religion, and the agency can match their baby with the parents that best fit their preferences.

The birth parents can also choose between an open and closed adoption. With an open adoption, the adoptive parents stay in touch with the birth parents. The birth parents can even see their child in the future. Through a closed adoption, the adoptive parents and birth parents do not stay in touch.

While many children are adopted by families whom they share no genetic ties with, others are adopted by extended family members or step-families. International adoption is still common as well. In 2009, 13,000 children were adopted from 106 different countries.

Adopted children need not feel alone. Today, as many as 2.5% of children under age 18 were adopted. Many famous people have been adopted, including:

Steve Jobs
Babe Ruth
Faith Hill
Nelson Mandela
Sarah McLachlan
Bill Clinton
John Lennon
Marilyn Monroe

If you’re considering adoption for your baby, talk with the representatives at A Child’s Dream . We have the resources you need to place your baby for adoption. We can help match your baby with compatible birth parents. We even offer free counseling and assistance for birth mothers. Call us today to learn more.

4 Tips for Better-Quality Sleep While Pregnant

Fri, 10 Nov 2017 13:07:51 GMT

Getting adequate sleep is one of the most important steps a pregnant woman can take to maintain her health and encourage the healthy development of her child. The average adult needs seven to nine hours of sleep, but pregnant women may need several hours more, either at night or through daytime naps.

However, because pregnancy can be emotionally strenuous and physically uncomfortable, some women have trouble getting the sleep they need.

In this blog, we discuss four strategies pregnant women can use to get more restful sleep.

Unplanned pregnancy often comes with various emotions. At first, you likely feel scared, uncertain, and worried. Over time, however, you might develop a connection to the life that grows inside you each day.

But even with this attachment to your child, placing a baby for adoption could be the best choice for your circumstances. A new baby requires many responsibilities, and you might not feel emotionally or financially ready to move into parenthood. You don’t know how you can care for another person—you struggle to make ends meet on your own.

To calm your worries and fears, you might be considering adoption. This choice relieves your burden and allows struggling couples to welcome new babies into a loving home. But even after you feel confident about giving your child to another family, you might fear complicated negotiations and messy legal work. Instead of worrying on your own, let us help you through the process.

In this blog, we discuss four strategies pregnant women can use to get more restful sleep.

1. Acknowledge and Deal With Your Emotions

Pregnancy comes with a lot of complex emotions, and that’s just a typical, planned pregnancy. As we discussed in our previous blog, “6 Emotions Birth Mothers May Experience During the Adoption Process, ” nontraditional pregnancies can prompt an even broader range of emotions.

Because prenatal hormones can heighten your perception of strong emotions, it’s important to give yourself plenty of outlets to express emotion.

Consider journaling, volunteer work, low-impact physical activity, or any creative pastime to give voice to the emotions you may feel over the course of the pregnancy. Additionally, reach out to people you trust to get the support you need, especially if emotional turmoil has affected your sleep.

Your support network may include the baby’s birth father, your family members, your close friends, your ecclesiastical leaders, or mental health professionals—anyone you feel you can talk to openly about your feelings.

If you can, discuss your emotions with your support network and try to deal with your feelings in constructive ways before you retire for the evening. If you don’t have family or friends you can talk to, meet with a birth mother specialist to find a therapist.

2. Create Checklists to Keep Track of To-Do Items

Pregnancy complicates even the most fundamental of everyday routines. You may need to remember to take extra supplements, do different exercises, and pick up new items during your errands.

If you feel overwhelmed, you may have difficulty sleeping. If you find yourself lying awake thinking about all the things you didn’t do today or need to do tomorrow, make an effort to get organized in the daytime.

Create checklists to help you keep track of action items. Additionally, put together a notebook or binder where you can keep paperwork, appointment reminders, and so on. These steps can help you feel more in control and help you sleep better at night.

3. Establish a Bedtime Routine

Research shows that adults with set bedtime routines tend to fall asleep more easily and achieve better-quality sleep. You may need to start a new routine that takes your pregnancy into account, but you should definitely set a schedule for yourself.

Ideally, your pre-bed routine should include:

Avoiding liquids within three hours of bedtime to reduce the amount of midnight bathroom breaks
Closing the blinds and blocking out bright sources of light to help your mind settle
Putting down electronic devices at least 30 minutes before you attempt to sleep
Turning down the air slightly so you don’t get overheated during the night
Using white noise or gentle music to lull yourself to sleep

4. Support Your Back

Pregnancy can be hard on your back and hips. Many women find that their backaches worsen throughout the day and then keep them up at night. To avoid this issue, prioritize back support during the day and while in bed.

Consider wearing a maternity band during your usual daily activity to decrease the pressure that your growing belly exerts on your back. If you spend long periods of time standing or sitting at a desk, take frequent breaks to stretch.

When you go to bed, claim a few extra pillows for support. Many pregnant women find that sleeping on their side is most comfortable. Prenatal health experts suggest sleeping on your left side if you can because that position optimizes how your fetus receives nutrients during the night.

Once you’re lying on your side, place a pillow between your knees or use a pregnancy body pillow. You want your legs to be parallel to each other with the pillow between them. This position reduces the strain on your hips and lower back.

If you have insomnia that persists, talk to your mental health provider and physician about your concerns. In the meantime, use these guidelines to get the sleep that both you and your baby need to stay healthy and strong during the pregnancy.